


Raise me up (so you can watch me fall)

by Yes_No_OfCourse



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, American Sign Language, Andrew is really horny, Andrew is very gay, Blow Jobs, Deaf! Neil, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, He is whipped, Like really slow, M/M, Masturbation, Matt is best bro, Neil has selective mutism, Slow Burn, Vixen Neil Josten, Vixen!AU, cheerleader neil, yeah I know I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2020-12-29 00:46:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21145964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yes_No_OfCourse/pseuds/Yes_No_OfCourse
Summary: Neil Josten is alone after his mother died, left to wander the world alone. His vocal cords are damaged beyond repair and his father is still after him, but that doesn’t stop him from fulfilling his dreams of becoming a cheerleader.So, he joins the Vixens and Palmetto State, where he meets his first ever friends.However, he has one (small) problem.Andrew Joseph Minyard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost from my old account, KvindenOgBogen, which I deleted earlier this year.

Neil Josten was a quiet person, and he was barely known to any Palmetto students outside of his cheerleading team, the Vixens. He supposed that was a good thing, it’d make it harder for his father to find him if he kept under the radar, and it’d also avoid too many people giving him shit for being the only guy on the cheer team. It meant he could live for another year at least without being found, and he was happy to stay on the cheerleading team for the rest of his time at PSU.

He’d even made a few friends. Katelyn Anderson, one of the nicest girls Neil could have ever hoped to meet, had become his closest confidant in the three short weeks he’d been enrolled. She was the one he’d told most of his “background” to. His mom was dead, so he’d moved to South Carolina to be nearer to his uncle, the only living family he had left. He’d left out how his mom had died, and of course, he had left out almost all the other truths, but Katelyn knew a lot more than he should’ve told anyone. That didn’t bother him, though, she’d earned his trust.

Katelyn had welcomed him with open arms and even offered to let him share her dorm after she’d realised he was the only guy on the team, comforted him when everything crashed down on him and he’d tried to run, and she hadn’t gone around and told everyone else his story. Katelyn was trustworthy, and he liked that.

Next was Amanda de la Motte, a fellow Math major and cheerleader. She didn’t care about Neil’s past, she just wanted to be a good friend to him, and he accepted that. He’d help her do her hair and makeup most days, and he sometimes even went out for coffee with her. She backed him up whenever someone tried to make fun of him for being the only male cheerleader, or because he found it difficult to speak, and she’d never thought twice about it. In return, Neil had sent some less than nice letters to a guy who was stalking her to make him stay away, and it had worked.

The third was Matt Boyd, a third year, one of the starting backliners of the Exy team. He was two years above Neil and honestly had no reason to talk to him, but he did, and Neil honestly couldn’t fathom why. He’d found Neil in the dining hall one day, they’d gotten talking and suddenly they were best friends. It was weird at first, seeing as Neil could barely get his voice loud enough to be heard, but Matt was good at reading lips and they’d gotten into a comfortable routine of Neil just mouthing at Matt and the taller man replying with a megawatt smile.

Neil liked this new life, loved his new friends, and he felt like he could finally leave Nathaniel behind.

\----- 

“Neil, you should totally come with me to see the Foxes!” Katelyn announced, walking into the living room of their shared dorm. “You’d get to see Matt, after all?”

He thought about it for a few seconds. He always did enjoy talking to Matt, even if they’d only known each other for about two weeks, but then there was the thing of him not knowing any of the other Foxes. He just wasn’t comfortable with talking in front of people he didn’t know very well, and he knew that he’d be expected to talk in front of them since it’d look weird if he just started mouthing at Matt.

He’d seen Aaron in passing a few times since he and Katelyn had been dating in secret, but he was sure the short blond hated him. He’d stared at Kevin a lot, but he knew the guy couldn’t possibly have recognised him and probably wouldn’t pay him any mind since Neil didn’t play Exy. Apart from that, he only knew the names of the team members, and that wasn’t enough to will himself to speak in front of them.

“Why though?” Neil asked, embarrassed by the raspiness of his voice, and wondering if it’d even been loud enough for Katelyn to hear him. His fears were quelled when Katelyn replied without missing a beat.

“Well, I needed to speak to Allison and Dan, and then there’s always time to talk to Renee, she’s a sweetie.” Katelyn shrugged. “But above all, you get to see the Court.”

She had his attention and she knew it. While Neil had absolutely no desire to play Exy, not after being on the run for so long, he still longed to watch it. Kevin Day was playing for the Foxes now, so it was dangerous for Neil to keep showing up in case the famous Son of Exy recognised him, but Neil still caught himself watching intently whenever the Vixens were there.

Katelyn grinned, running a hand through his dark curls, “you don’t have to speak to them if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Neil nodded. He knew people got freaked out from his voice – raspy and barely there since Lola’s botched attempt at severing his vocal cords – so he tended to just stay silent around people he didn’t know very well. So far, only five people at PSU had heard his voice, and two of them had been lecturers.

“Oh, and another thing! Renee knows ASL, if you ask her, she’ll teach you. It might make it a bit easier for you to communicate with others.” Katelyn smiled warmly. “Me and Amanda will learn it too if you want.”

Neil smiled brightly. Katelyn was right, learning ASL would probably make it a lot easier to communicate with others and the fact she was willing to learn it as well made his heart swell. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve a friend like her.

“Can we ask?” Neil rasped, looking up at her with his best puppy dog eyes.

She laughed.

“Yeah, of course. We can go now if you want? Catch them just before practice.” She moved to the table, grabbing her keys.

Neil followed on.

\------

The Foxhole Court was huge and bright, covered in a disgusting bright orange that Neil actually found strangely comforting. The parking lot was empty save for Katelyn’s car, and then Coach Wymack had shown up a few minutes after they had, and now he was talking to Katelyn about something. Neil wasn’t paying attention, just playing with the edge of his turtleneck to make sure it covered the scars on his neck.

“Neil, was it? Nice to meet you!” Wymack said, holding out his hand. “I normally meet the new members of the squad before now, but Coach Deana had you all training hard this year. I’d just like to formally thank you for cheering those idiots on.”

Neil nodded slowly, shaking Wymack’s hand and was shocked by how gentle the grip was, compared to how big and tough the Coach looked. He found it hard to look up at his eyes, flashes of his father kept tearing through his brain whenever he tried, so Neil just stared at the tribal tattoos adorning the man's arms. 

“They’ll be here in about five minutes, then you can ask Renee about ASL,” Wymack told him. “You ever need any help, you come to me, okay kid?”

Neil nodded again, smiling as Wymack let go of his hand, and watched the man retreat, following closely behind Katelyn, until the three of them were in some kind of lounge within the stadium.

It wasn’t long before the team arrived. First, it was the people Katelyn referred to as the “Monsters”, which Neil couldn’t help but notice Aaron was a part of. Aaron looked happy to see Katelyn, but then his twin – Neil was sure his name was Andrew – looked downright pissed to see her. The third guy, he had to be the cousin, Nicky, took Neil in with a hungry look and he could feel his senses screaming at him to get out of there. The last was Kevin Day – Son of Exy – who seemed curious.

Neil couldn’t help but stare at the green-eyed man, his throat beginning to feel sore again. Kevin was part of the reason he and his mother had been forced to run, which meant Kevin was also part of the reason his vocal cords were so badly damaged. The sour expression crossing his face must’ve been showing, Kevin stared back with an equally sour look and spoke first.

“You’re Neil Josten, right?” Kevin asked, to which Neil nodded. “Matt keeps talking about you… you’re one of the Vixens, right?” Neil nodded again.

“We’re… here to speak to Renee. And Dan… and Allison.” Katelyn explained. “Right, Neil?”

Neil nodded, feeling all four of the men staring at him. He absentmindedly tugged at his turtleneck, feeling like they could see his scar despite it being completely covered.

“What’s wrong, cutie? Got some marks on your neck?” Nicky teased light-heartedly, but Neil felt his eyes widen in panic nonetheless. He felt Katelyn’s hand hovering near his arm.

“Neil, are you okay?” She asked softly. “We can go outside if you want.”

He opened his mouth to tell her he was fine, but the words wouldn’t come out. He couldn’t bring himself to speak in front of all these strangers, couldn’t bear the looks on their faces when they heard his destroyed voice.

He was saved by Matt, who barrelled in with the force of a hurricane, a wide smile on his face.

“Neil!” 

\----- 

They waited until practice had started before they got Renee to the side. Her soft smile comforted Neil, he felt like he was being judged considerably less. Katelyn, or maybe it’d been Matt, had filled her in on Neil’s situation – which he was actually thankful for – so Renee was able to get right to the point and saved much awkward explaining.

All she knew was that he couldn’t speak after a tragic accident, the same as everyone else. She didn’t need to know that Lola had attempted to cut out his voice box on the German-Austrian border.

“So, Neil, about learning ASL… if I teach you the alphabet and how introduce yourselves, would that be okay for now? Then we can meet up on weekends and I’ll teach you more.” Renee asked, voice as soft as her smile.

Neil nodded excitedly. He was so glad that he finally had the chance to learn ASL, finally able to communicate with other people without the use of text-to-speech apps on his phone. Katelyn and Amanda would be learning too, it was better than anything Neil had ever experienced in his life.

“That’s great!” Renee exclaimed. “May I have your numbers so we can arrange a time?”

Katelyn gave her both of their numbers, thanking Renee for being so kind, which made the platinum-blonde girl laugh.

“It’s no bother, I love teaching ASL to people!” Renee giggled. “Shall we get started?”

Neil spent the next half an hour practising the basics with Renee and Katelyn, honestly having an amazing time with them. By the end of it, he could introduce himself and spell out almost everything, taking time to spell out thank you to Renee, who giggled and showed him the sign for it. Neil, ever the quick learner, copied it and smiled widely when he saw Katelyn doing the same.

What he didn’t notice was the short blonde goalkeeper glaring daggers at him from across the court.


	2. Chapter 2

Andrew Minyard was troubled.

He’d known about this Neil Josten for some time. He was Aaron’s whore’s roommate, a freshman who seemed to be completely mute though Boyd swore he could in fact speak. The only male on the Vixens cheer team, who spent an awful lot of time ogling Kevin at matches. He was always followed around by Amanda de la Something, a girl that Andrew had almost come to blows with multiple times.

Neil Josten seemed like a threat. He was close with Katelyn and Amanda, he was always staring at Kevin – and had been earlier, oh yes Andrew had noticed that – and then he’d had the nerve to go and distract Renee for almost all of practice, meaning that Andrew was stuck playing stupid stickball that entire time.

Andrew wasn’t angry because he’d been forced to be in goal for that time, oh no, he wasn’t that petty. He was angry because some random guy had come in and gotten involved with multiple aspects of his life, with Renee, even with Aaron. Without permission.

_Inexcusable._

He’d have to keep an eye on this Neil Josten, and probably step in and tell him not to get involved with anyone under Andrew’s protection. Maybe scare him into getting the whore to stay away from Aaron while he was at it.

But fuck, that Neil Josten guy wasn’t half attractive.

Chocolate brown hair that was obviously dyed, matching eyes that were obviously due to coloured contacts. Always had his neck covered. Andrew liked a bit of mystery, and this guy was one. He was just Andrew’s type.

Of course the world was throwing another fuck you at him. Of. Fucking. Course.

Andrew wasn’t happy about this. With all the drugs coursing through his system, he’d honestly thought he’d felt a twinge of arousal at seeing Neil smile.

_Absolutely fucking not._

This guy was probably a side effect of the drugs. He couldn’t be real. Andrew wouldn’t allow it. He was dangerous, he was going to make Aaron break his promise. He looked at Kevin like he was oxygen, that could only mean he was a threat to Kevin's safety. Probably some Moriyama spy. He looked like he could be, all dark hair and eyes.

Andrew wished he was sober so his thoughts would slow down and actually be coherent. Sober Andrew was much better at processing information about new people.

He’d have to get Kevin to look after his pills.

He stayed awake much later than he normally would, trying to tell himself that he was overthinking and that Neil probably wasn’t a threat. It wasn’t working too well.

Aaron’s quiet snores were normally calming to Andrew, but tonight they were winding him up something fierce. It made Andrew want to leap out of his bed and cover Aaron’s mouth, but he knew how hard it was for Aaron to actually fall asleep so he decided to leave it and go sleep on his beanbag instead.

Andrew hated silence, so he put on the TV and tuned it into some random crime documentary, making sure the volume was low enough to not disturb anyone else, settling down to watch.

He’d drifted off within fifteen minutes.

\-----

Aaron was the first one up since he had a 9 am class on Thursdays. Andrew woke up as soon as the bedroom door opened, as usual, and watched as his twin fumbled into the bathroom.

The TV had switched itself off, Andrew had set a timer that turned it off after two hours of the remote remaining untouched, so he turned it back on, switching onto the news so he could pretend to be clued in on recent events.

He frowned when he heard Aaron trying to muffle a moan in the bathroom, getting up and heading into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, gulping it down before returning to the TV and turning it up so he could block out the frankly disgusting sounds his twin was making.

He pulled out his laptop, deciding to check his emails and finding them empty. His lecturers were obviously occupied this early in the morning, which was a shame. Andrew preferred to make notes on the slides before his lectures so he could take in the information easier. He’d keep checking, and then he’d make all of his notes for his two lectures today.

He decided to do a few internet searches, see if he could find anything on Neil Josten, hoping he’d find enough to ease his mind.

It all came up blank, and the red flags were now accompanied by sirens. There was nothing at all. What kind of person didn’t have any trace of them on the internet?

Andrew could think of only two: people who had stuff to hide and people who weren’t real.

Both of those were very, very bad. He deemed Neil Josten a threat until he could get more information on him. He’d probably have to start with Boyd, but then again he wasn’t too happy with him since the whole incident in Columbia, so the best bet was to just go and find Josten.

The only issue was he had no idea where to go. He didn’t know what the guys major was, and didn’t know his hang-out spots. The only thing he knew was his dorm – since Andrew had done a fair bit of stalking Katelyn already – and the times of cheer practice. Said practice wasn’t on Thursdays at all, and showing up randomly at the dorm would cause a lot of issues.

Andrew decided to go out to the library, since he needed a book for one of his assignments and hoped he could go from there.

\-----

Normally, Andrew wouldn’t be caught dead in the library so early in the day, preferring to go later on so not as many people would see him there, but he knew he was doing this for a good reason. He checked out the book he needed, having not seen Neil in there at all, and headed across campus to the café.

He had considerably more luck there. Neil was leaving just as he got into view of the building, so Andrew subtly changed course and followed the brunet until they reached a more secluded area of campus.

Andrew was just about to move in when the brunet whirled around and suddenly a fist was flying at Andrew’s face. He only just managed to dodge it.

_Impressive._

He grabbed Neil's fist, gripping it so tightly he could feel the bones rubbing together, glaring at the taller man.

“Oh, that was unexpected. Just who are you, Neil Josten? You have to have had some training to be able to throw a punch like that, and you need to be pretty tuned in to know you’re being followed. Tell me, who are you and why are you here?”

The man remained silent, trying to tug his wrist out of Andrew's grip and failing miserably. Such trifling was really testing Andrew's patience.

“Well? Spit it out, I know you can talk, Josten. Tell me why nobody seems to know anything about you, tell me why you look at Kevin like he's the answer to all of life’s questions: which I can assure you he isn’t.” Andrew knew the drugs were making him smile, he must've looked terrifying to poor Neil, but that was how he needed to be if he was going to get anywhere.

Neil’s obviously-not-actually-brown eyes widened, and he tried to struggle, even more, his free hand gesturing to his neck and then raising to try and bat Andrew off of him. A spark of anger lit in Andrew’s chest, and he found himself snarling at the redhead.

“You know, I was playing nice. All I want to know is whether you’re going to cause problems, and you won't even speak to me. You’re not helping your case.” Andrew sighed.

Neil’s eyes blazed with anger after that, and Andrew felt a twinge of something in his heart. He didn’t know what it was, but suddenly he felt like he should probably let go. 

The rest of him screamed that Neil was a threat, and so he kept his grip, watching Neil as the redhead kept gesturing to his neck. Finally, Neil opened his mouth.

“Let me go, you fucking asshole. I’ve done nothing to you.”

Oh, and that was very, very unexpected.

Neil’s voice was so quiet that Andrew would’ve probably missed it if he weren’t looking right at his lips, and it was extremely broken like he’d swallowed some glass. Suddenly it all made sense to Andrew. This was why he hadn’t been speaking.

It eased part of Andrew, the sirens were a bit quieter now, but now Andrew was curious about what had happened to Neil's voice.

People’s vocal cords didn’t get damaged to this point by accident, it had to be done purposefully.

Now, it seemed like Neil had been in with some very unsavoury people. The sirens were getting louder again. Dangerous people were after Kevin as well. This wasn’t good.

But Andrew still let go.

“Listen here, Neil. Kevin is under my protection, as is Aaron, so if I find you’re going to cause any issues for them you will hear from me. Stay away from them. You just keep on cheering but stay well away from Kevin and my brother. While you’re at it, tell the whore to stay away from Aaron as well. I’m getting tired of warning her.”

He watched Neil stew for a few seconds before the redhead pushed past him and stormed away. 

Somehow, Andrew didn’t think he’d scared him away at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Neil couldn’t believe it.

_Andrew Minyard was a fucking psychopath!_

Neil was used to getting followed, so when he’d turned around he’d expected it to be Lola, or maybe just some regular asshole. Stuff that he could probably have been prepared for or got away from.

But _no._

Andrew fucking Minyard had been there, and he’d managed to catch Neil's fist before it hit his face, holding him there. That’d never happened before, Neil was normally fast enough to land a hit before the other person even realised he was moving, so Andrew had to have some amazing reflexes to be able to stop him.

Neil didn’t understand why Andrew thought he was a threat. He’d stayed quiet, and under the radar, so things like this wouldn’t happen. So he wouldn’t be found. And yet, somehow he’d managed to trigger the Monster.

Why Andrew actually thought he was a threat, Neil didn’t know. Not once had he been openly antagonistic towards anyone on campus (with the exceptions of those letters he’d sent, but there was no evidence to link him to them), he’d never been close enough to Kevin at any point for the damn Exy Queen to feel threatened or even recognise him. He never actually spoke to Aaron, just politely nodded to him whenever he turned up at the dorm and left whenever it was clear he and Katelyn were going to have sex.

How Andrew had interpreted any of that as threatening was beyond him.

Neil headed back to the dorm, surprised to see Amanda already back.

“Hey, Neil!” She called from her armchair, dirty blonde hair piled up in a messy bun. “Uh-oh. I know that look. What happened?”

He flopped down on the couch with a huff and pulled out his phone.

**Jos10/10:**

He saw Amanda’s face contort into an ugly frown as soon as her phone pinged to tell her about the new message.

“Are you fucking serious?! That asshole, first he started going after Kate and now he’s going after you. Fucking shocking, Wymack ought to keep that monster in line, and Aaron should stand up to him as well.” Amanda grabbed a pillow and hurled it at the wall. “Ugh, this makes me so fucking angry! Are you okay, Neil?”

He nodded.

**Jos10/10:** _I don’t think he's suspicious of me anymore, I proved I'm not a threat. How can I be?_

“Hmm, I don’t know. You’ve never fought with anyone here, and Andrew is well known for going at anyone who he doesn’t like, so maybe he just saw you as weak and decided to go for you to make a point? Or he could have done it to get to Kate, she's going to be so upset when she hears-“

**Jos10/10:** _don’t tell her._

Amanda saw the serious look on his face and nodded.

“Yeah, stressing her out would be a dick move. Just keep out of his way, and maybe stop giving Kevin goo-goo eyes, and you should be fine.” Amanda smiled. “What? I've seen the way you look at Kevin. I can see that its just admiration, but maybe Andrew interpreted it as something else? You know what happened to Kevin at Evermore, right?”

Neil nodded. How could he not know? He had a binder full of all things Kevin, and he’d been following the news since he ran from his mother’s burning body and set up a new identity in South Carolina. He knew all about Kevins “skiing accident” and how he’d started off as an assistant coach while his hand was crippled.

“Maybe Andrew mistook you for a Raven spy?” Amanda giggled at Neil’s appalled look. “I know, it sounds ridiculous, but according to Aaron, Andrew and logic haven't been on speaking terms for a while now. Probably all those mind-altering drugs.”

Neil sighed, tilting his head back. He wasn’t going to stay away just because Andrew had told him to. He wasn’t going to tell Katelyn to stay away from Aaron, either.  
Neil could tell how smitten Aaron was with Katelyn, and Neil could rather die than get between them. Aaron was always much more relaxed when he was around her, and Neil had heard Katelyn comforting him multiple times. They were good for each other, and fuck Andrew for thinking that they weren’t.

Fuck Andrew for calling Katelyn a whore.

Fuck Andrew in general.

Neil was going to give that bastard a piece of his mind.

\-----

He, in fact, did not give Andrew a piece of his mind.

He wanted to, but after he’d slept on it and woken up in the worst mood since the day after his mom died he’d decided it wasn’t worth the risk.

Andrew was dangerous. Both Katelyn and Amanda had warned him about that after Katelyn came home in tears after Andrew had cornered her as well. Turned out Andrew hadn’t been patient enough to wait and see if Neil actually warned her himself.

Andrew had scared Katelyn until she’d burst into tears and ran away, and then she’d refused to leave the bedroom afterwards. It was then that Amanda decided to fill him in on exactly how much of an issue Andrew had been in the past.

It made Neil even more furious, and he’d been ready to hunt Aaron down and give him a strongly worded letter about how he should stand up to his twin and stop being a fucking coward, but it also made him realise something else.

Andrew was well known around campus, and coming to blows with him would surely land Neil in the spotlight. Being in the spotlight meant it would be easier for his father to find him. Getting in Aarons' face would just make Andrew even more intense, and the guy was already pretty dangerous. Apparently, he wasn’t afraid to pull knives on people, and Neil wasn’t ready to face a knife-wielding psychopath anytime soon.

But Neil had to do something. The guy had upset Katelyn, his best friend, and Neil wasn't going to just sit by and let that happen. If going up against Andrew directly was out of the question, then Neil had to figure out another way to get him to back off.

He’d have to ask Matt, but he would be in lectures until three o’clock, so Neil was left to his own devices. 

A quick Google of Andrew’s name probably would have sufficed, but Neil didn’t want to risk picking up any misinformation and make things worse, so he figured it was probably better to just wait. Matt would know something. 

In the meantime, he supposed there’d be no harm in sending Aaron a text. He’d taken the number from Katelyn’s phone while she was asleep, while hed been contemplating going to threaten Andrew back. Then again, it’d probably have more weight if it was sent from her phone, so Neil grabbed it while she was in the shoer and sent the text.

**Kate:** _tell ur bro 2 stay the hell away from me_

There was no point in feeling guilty, Neil decided. This was the fastest and most effective way to get Aaron to stand up to Andrew, Neil was sure the normal twin would fight for Katelyn.

If he didn’t… well, all he could say was that Aaron wasn’t good enough for her anyway.

The reply was almost instantaneous.

**Rin:** _stay away from him and I will_

Neil blanched. It seemed that Andrew was playing the exact same game. Now he definitely didn’t feel sorry about it.

**Kate:** _whatever stay away from Neil as well. He's done nothing to you_

There was no reply. Neil deleted the messages quickly, setting her phone back on the desk before he headed into his room and picked up his own. There were no texts, which he guessed was lucky, so he slid it into his pocket with a grin and headed to the kitchen to make a smoothie.

Katelyn appeared after around ten minutes, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel and wearing a baggy sweater with some shorts. She smiled at him softly, sitting on the kitchen island.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Katelyn asked. “Look, I know that you’re upset about Andrew going for me, but honestly don’t worry about it. He’s… just very protective of Rin, which I know makes him an asshole, but please don’t worry about me. I love Rin, I’m not going to leave him just because his brother tells me to, and hopefully, Andrew will realise that and leave me be.”

Neil sighed, sitting opposite her with his smoothie, taking a sip to ease the pain in his throat before he tried to talk to her.

“But you were so upset.” Neil began, clearing his throat when his voice came out less than usual. “I hate seeing you upset, I hate seeing Aaron not fighting for you, he just lets Andrew get away with that shit and it annoys me. I know you love him, I know he loves you back, but it annoys me so much.”

Katelyn’s eyes were full of sadness, she shook her head slightly with a sad smile.

“They have a very… complicated relationship, Neil. I don’t fully understand it, but I know better than to get involved, so I’m asking you to not get involved either. He’s dangerous, I don’t want him to hurt you.”

Neil let out a sigh, “I don’t want him to hurt you either, but we can’t just let him get away with doing this.”

Katelyn sighed.

“Neil, I know that, but just… keep away from him.”

\-----

Neil really needed to learn how to listen to people, because as soon as cheer practice started, he’d come into contact with Andrew Minyard.

It was Kevin’s fault, or maybe it was Dan’s, but the Foxes had come to watch cheer practice for “bonding with the only people who cheer for us”.

Neil thought it was a ridiculous idea.

So there he was, stretching his legs when the Monsters entered the gymnasium, and he instantly felt the weight of four pairs of eyes. He wondered why they were the first ones here, Kevin was the only one who seemed to care at all.

Neil was suddenly hyper-aware of the way he was bent over, touching his toes and then standing back up. He was wearing leggings, ones that Katelyn had bought for him because they were the most comfortable thing he owned, but they were so skintight it was unbelievable.

He heard Nicky letting out a low whistle, which turned into a grunt of pain, though Neil couldn’t see why.

Tugging at the neckerchief he was wearing, Neil shot a look to Amanda and Katelyn, who just smiled back at him.

Amanda was the first one to approach him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“You need some help?” She asked, as she always did when they were stretching. Neil needed someone to push on his back when the did the last stretch, and he’d only let Amanda or Katelyn do it. The rest of the squad had long since accepted that, understanding his boundaries and never trying to push him.

Neil nodded, sitting down and spreading his legs, leaning down so his forearms were on the mat. Amanda gently began to push him forward. When Neil’s chest touched the mat, Amanda eased off and let him get up.

The next part of the practice was doing flips, a part that Neil wasn’t too fond of since his neckerchief often slid off or got caught. He was good at putting it back into place before anyone noticed the ugly mess of scars on his neck.

He took a running start and leapt, bouncing off his hands and performing a back double full. He landed perfectly, raising his arms and going into the bow the entire squad did after completing a difficult move. Katelyn cheered, Amanda clapped, and then Matt’s voice rang through the hall.

“Amazing, Neil!” Matt shouted, clapping.  
Neil grinned, turning to face the crowd of Exy players that’d gathered, moving out of the way so Katelyn could complete her flip.

Andrew Minyard was glaring daggers at him.


	4. Chapter 4

Andrew had no idea why they had been forced to watch cheer practice since it was only Aaron, Matt and the girls that had ever had any form of contact with them.

That being said, he was really enjoying looking at Neil Josten’s ass.

This was not okay on any level. He was ogling the brunet like he was a piece of meat, all because he was wearing tight leggings that made that ass look sinful. He looked really fucking good, he was flexible as fuck, and he was skilled.

Andrew was very, very interested. 

But Josten was still a threat, he’d obviously taken the whores phone and messaged Aaron; the whore would never be so bold. That was yet another red flag. Neil obviously wasn’t one for listening to others.

Somehow, that made Andrew even more interested. He liked it when people gave him a challenge, it was entertaining.

Nicky kept whispering in amazement every time Neil completed a flip or contorted his body into a strange angle. Kevin was watching carefully, he seemed extremely impressed at everything the cheerleaders were doing, which wasn’t like him at all. Andrew had never seen Kevin impressed before, but that was probably because the Foxes were absolute shambles.

Aaron was trying not to be obvious about it, but he was gawking at the damned whore. Andrew watched his twin, feeling rage burning up in his chest.

The damn idiot was breaking his promise, after everything Andrew had done for him.

Killed his mother to stop the abuse, made it look like an accident so Andrew could stay with him and protect him. Promised to keep him safe from any and all threats until they graduated. Extended the deal so Aaron could get a full scholarship and pursue his dreams of getting into med school. Got him off all the drugs, to keep him safe and prevent the idiot from overdosing, and then that was also to help him get into med school. 

Andrew had done so much for his twin, and the bastard was breaking his promise by hooking up with Katelyn Elizabeth Anderson.

He’d at least thought Aaron would have the decency to not look at her in that way when Andrew was around. Apparently not.

Boyd was fanboying over Josten, cheering every single time he did anything remotely impressive, making the shorter man blush heavily.

Andrew wondered whether he could ever make Neil blush like that, and then immediately chased the thought away. 

He needed to go sober for a while so he could get his thoughts together. He wasn’t meant to be thinking about this, not while there was a chance Neil was a threat.

But he was so fucking attractive. His face, his body, the way he could lift up the girls with ease, throw them in the air and catch them without even breaking a sweat. Andrew swore he saw a sliver of stomach when Neil raised his arms, but he couldn’t be sure. 

He also thought he saw the neckerchief come loose and found himself paying attention, curious about whether Nicky had been right about the brunet sporting hickies.

His chest twinged in disappointment when Neil quickly adjusted it.

\-----

“I’m so glad we actually went to see them! I expected everything they did to be so easy, but… they’re so amazing. Did you see how flexible they were? And all those flips and tricks… damn.” Nicky gushed. “And Neil is so strong, he was really a sight to behold.”

“Shut up Nicky.” Aaron snapped. “He’s really not all that.”

Nicky made an offended noise, “excuse me, he is gorgeous.”

“Shut up Nicky.” Andrew rolled his eyes. “I don’t trust him.”

Nicky let out a bitter laugh, “you don’t trust anyone, Andrew. But let me just say this, you were staring at him for a good fifteen minutes.”

Andrew should’ve slammed the brakes and made Nicky’s head slam on the back of the driver's seat, but he didn’t. He just took a deep breath and pulled into the dorm carpark.

He caught Aaron’s sharp gaze in the rearview mirror, meeting it with an equally venomous glare.

“Because he might be a threat. You’ve seen the way he looks at Kevin.”

Kevin sat up a little straighter, turning to look at Andrew.

“I think he just likes Exy. I mean, he obviously knows who I am, he looks at me like the Ravens fans used to, and he seemed to enjoy watching our match last week. He seems like a nice enough guy, Andrew, just leave him be.” 

Oh, now that was unusual. Kevin, the biggest coward on the team, was standing up for Neil Josten? If it hadn’t been so out of the blue, Andrew would have almost been impressed.

“I won’t,” Andrew said. “Not until I can be sure he isn’t a threat.” 

Aaron and Kevin both raised their eyes. Andrew just smirked at them, the drugs making his head feel a little dizzy. He probably shouldn't have taken his next dose.

“Fine, whatever. Just don’t hurt him. He's actually a nice guy.” Aaron huffed. “Not that I've actually spoken to him.” He added quickly, trying to cover his tracks,

“Whatever. He’s friends with that cheerleader of yours, and he ignored me when I told him to tell her to stay away, and then he stole her phone to text you. So forgive me for thinking he’s suspicious.” Andrew growled, slamming the car into park and getting out.

Aaron was also out within seconds.

“So you went after him? What the fuck, Andrew? He has done nothing, it’s just your drugged up mind that thinks he is. And fuck you for going after Kate as well. She’s the sweetest person I know, and she genuinely cares for me. Just leave her alone, don’t ruin this for me.” Aaron’s eyes were blazing with fear and anger, it was laughable.

Nicky and Kevin looked extremely uncomfortable when Andrew began to laugh, Aaron became even angrier. Andrew was beginning to feel a little nauseous, his meds had a nasty habit of upsetting his stomach when he didn’t take them with food. He really wasn’t in the mood for this.

He knew he was out of order, but he was only doing this to protect those who were dear to him. He didn’t understand how they couldn’t see that.

“You know our deal, brother dear. No girlfriends. I do not care what you do after graduation, but until then you have a promise to keep. You'd be wise to remember that.”

Aaron took a deep breath, his nostrils tremoring in the way they normally did when he was upset.

“Fuck you,” Aaron growled, before storming past his twin and heading inside.

\-----

Andrew didn’t sleep that night. He’d tried, but he couldn’t bring himself to be in the same room as Aaron any longer or he’d surely wring his twin's throat.

No, instead he decided to actually go to the library. He needed somewhere nice and quiet to think about his next move. What the move would be, he wasn’t sure of yet, but he needed to think fast. He had to rule out Josten being a threat before he did something stupid.

Luckily, he was sober enough to collect his thoughts by the time he arrived in the library, heading up to the top floor and taking a seat next to the large floor-to-ceiling windows. Taking out his laptop, Andrew decided he may as well try and do some digging through the university database and see if he could find any information there. 

Sure, it'd be limited to Neil’s date of birth and where he lived outside of term, but it was a start. Andrew could work with that.

He hadn't even been working for ten minutes before he heard a loud voice carrying from behind a nearby shelf. He recognised it as Amanda something-or-other, the cheerleader that Neil and the whore seemed to always be around.

“C’mon, Neil! It'll be fun! You get to relax, we get to have a bonding holiday, it'll be great.” Amanda said, her voice almost sickeningly sweet. “But if you don’t wanna, I’ll stay back with you. It won't be as fun without you there.”

Andrew felt his spine straighten at the mention of Neil's name, but didn’t look around to avoid blowing his cover. He wasn’t sure if the duo could see him, and didn’t want to make it too obvious he was listening in.

Neil’s croaky, strained voice came a few seconds later, considerably quieter than Amanda’s had been.

“I’m fine. Drinking isn’t really my thing, and I have a load of assignments due for around that time. I’ll just stay here, but you and Kate can still go, don't miss out because of me.”

How had his voice ended up like that? Andrew had never heard of anyone being born with a voice like Neil’s but had seen a few people in Juvie who’d had their vocal cords ruined in fights. Maybe that’d been what happened to the redhead? If so, then Andrew was even more interested.

How did someone who claimed not to be a threat get injured like that? Who was after him? The Moriyamas? Judging by the state of Kevin’s hand, Andrew wouldn’t rule that out. 

Neil Josten was a mystery that Andrew was determined to solve.

Josten rounded the corner, and Andrew could feel the glare on his back. He shivered, not liking the feeling at all, but not wanting to back down.

“You go ahead.” Neil rasped, and the blond heard Amanda scurrying away.

Andrew turned to look, his hazel eyes meeting those obviously-not-brown eyes. They were angry, Neil’s tanned face was taking on a red hue and his full, pink lips were curling into a frown. Andrew kept still, waiting for Neil to make a move. He fiddled with his armband. Ready to whip out his knife at a seconds notice if the cheerleader tried anything.  
Said cheerleader simply smirked, taking a few steps until he was able to pull out the chair opposite to Andrew, sitting down gracefully.

Andrew had to physically restrain himself for grabbing the stupid neckerchief and pulling it off. Instead, he just met Neil’s eyes with what he hoped was a steady glare.

“Josten. I suppose you’re here to make me leave her alone?” Andrew began, thankful that the drugs weren’t in his system to make his grin appear on his face. “I'm afraid I cannot do that, Aaron made a promise to me and he doesn’t intend to keep it, so I have to get rid of her.”

Neil scoffed.

“She’s asked me not to get involved in that, and I won't, not if it'll upset her more.” Neil took a quick drink of his water. “I'm here to tell you to leave me alone. I saw you glaring at me earlier. What the hell is your problem?”

Andrew sighed, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head.

“The problem, Neil, is that I don’t trust you. You appear out of nowhere, there is no information about you anywhere and you’re suddenly getting very involved in aspects of my life. You're involved with Aaron, albeit indirectly, you’re involved with Renee. You look at Kevin like he’s the air you breathe.”

“Because I’m a fan of E-“

“Do not interrupt me,” Andrew hissed, “your voice is odd, you must've been injured in a fight. What happened, who is after you? That is why I am concerned, you see. There are people after Kevin as well, dangerous people who wouldn’t even think about tearing out vocal cords. That combined with how you seem to breathe Kevin Day, it seems like you could work for them, you see? Maybe I'm paranoid, but I refuse to take any chances. The last time I did that didn’t blow over well.”

Neil chewed his lip, Andrew was sure he could hear the cogs whirring in the redhead's brain. They were silent for a good five minutes before Neil took a shuddering breath.

“What will it take to convince you I’m not a threat?” He asked, his voice even quieter than normal.

“Tell me what happened to your throat.”

Neil blanched, obviously not expecting that demand. He looked around hurriedly before his eyes fixed on something at the other end of the aisle, which Andrew assumed was Amanda.

Neil looked back at Andrew, his eyes wide and looking like there were tears welling up in them. Andrew almost felt bad.

“Tomorrow? She’s going to come over if I stay here any longer.” Neil croaked.

“Acceptable. Meet me on the roof of Fox Tower and exactly eight pm. Do not be late.”

Neil nodded, scrambling away and leaving the blond alone to his thoughts. Andrew was proud of how far he’d gotten already, and he was honestly looking forward to meeting Neil again.

He decided he deserved to go back to the dorm and go to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Mary Hatford would have probably broken Neil’s ribs if she was still alive. He was sacrificing way too much just to prove himself to a small blond psychopath. He had to show Andrew his neck. This was a bad idea, he was going to have to come up with some form of explanation for why it looked like a tiger had clawed his throat out.

_Or_, he could just tell the truth. 

It seemed like the worst idea possible after all, Neil was meant to be in hiding, but maybe he could convince Andrew that he needed protection.

After all, he was already protecting Kevin, a much more high profile case. If Andrew could keep Kevin safe when everyone knew where he was and probably knew his entire timetable, then he could surely protect Neil as well.

It was a long shot, but if it was the only way to get the blond off his back, Neil was definitely going to try it.

\-----

Renee had been amazing so far. In just an hour of time, she had taught Neil how to describe people, describe clothes, animals and modes of transport and even how to give directions.

Though Katelyn and Amanda were struggling a little with the sudden influx of new information, Renee was extremely patient with them, smiling softly as she taught them.

While Katelyn and Amanda practised, Renee began a conversation with Neil. She asked what his name was, how he was and what he looked like. Neil grinned happily after hed replied to all the questions without making a single mistake.

“Well done, you’re a fast learner.” Renee signed as she said it, laughing when the redhead repeated the sign. “It’s nice to have someone so eager to learn!”

_Thank you,_ Neil signed.

“Oh, it’s no bother, really.” Renee giggled. “this really helps you out in the long run, I don’t mind spending a little time teaching you.”

It was just a few minutes before the others were due to leave for the Court for Exy practice, so they had to wrap it up when Dan and Allison began to move towards the door.

“It was nice to see you three.” Renee signed again. “how about we do these times next week as well? You can just come to the Court again, Coach won’t mind. You know he has a soft spot for people like us.”

Neil took a few seconds to recognise what she meant since he was so focused on the signs, but when he did his head shot back up so he could look the angelic girl in the eyes.

The Foxes were a team filled with rejects in need of a second chance and finding their way through sport, with a full scholarship. The Vixens were the same but through Cheerleading.

Obviously, Neil had gotten in because of his throat, and Amanda had been addicted to heroin before coming to Palmetto. He wasn’t sure why Katelyn had been accepted to the Vixens, and he wasn’t going to pry, but he knew there’d been a lot of hardships in her life.

He recovered quickly, nodding slowly. 

“We’ll be there!” Amanda announced. “Thank you so much, Renee, you’re actually a babe!”

Renee blushed heavily, and Allison Reynolds peered around the doorframe with a grin on her face.

“Sorry, ‘Manda, she’s taken.” Allison laughed.

Amanda and Katelyn giggled, each going to take one of Neil’s arms.

“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t mean I'm not allowed to say it!” Amanda laughed, making both Renee and Allison burst into laughter.

“Bye, kids!” Dan called as the three left the dorm room arm in arm.

“Ah, you’re such a fast learner, Neil! Like, you must be amazing at languages!” Katelyn gushed, giving his arm a tight squeeze. “You keep surprising us!”

Neil blushed, letting himself get pulled along by the taller girls. 

“Yeah, how many languages do you know? You seem like a guy of many tongues.” Amanda winked.

They were right in front of the Monsters’ dorm when their door opened. Amanda tightened her grip, and Katelyn sped up a little. Neil just tried not to trip as he was dragged.

“French and German.” He whispered, hoping that it was loud enough for them to hear but quiet enough for the Monsters to not hear.

His efforts were immediately useless.

“French and German? Wow, that’s so cool! Are you sure you don’t want to come to the Alps with us?” Amanda asked. “Kate, Kate, tell him to come!”

Katelyn laughed, letting go of Neil’s arm so she could pat him on the shoulders.

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to, Sweetie.” She told him.

Amanda pouted.

“Wow, I have been betrayed. But don’t worry, Honey, if you don’t want to I won't force you.”

Neil let out a sigh of relief. Neither of them knew about Neil’s bad experiences in the Alps, the reason his throat was in such a state, but at least they were accepting that he didn’t want to go with them. 

“Well, I believe its time for our coffee date!” Katelyn hummed. “I’ll be having the usual, ‘Mandy.” 

Amanda let out a fake gasp of horror, pulling the other two into the elevator.

“Wow, but that costs like $7.50 or something stupid! I’m not made of money!”

Neil let out a quiet scoffing noise, immediately letting out a pained wince as pain lanced through his entire throat.

Katelyn didn’t even miss a beat, handing him a cherry flavoured throat lozenge. While it wouldn’t actually do anything to help, it’d ease the pain for about half an hour, which he was grateful for.

The door began to close, and Neil caught both of the twins glaring at him.

He almost swallowed the lozenge.

\-----

It was just starting to get dark, and Neil was already having doubts about doing this, but he arrived on the roof with a minute to spare. He'd expected it to be a lot more difficult, but the door seemed to have been busted open a while ago.

He saw Andrew perched on the very edge of the roof, a small plume of smoke rising into the air around him. He could smell the bitterness of the cigarette from where he was stood, a comforting smell that reminded him of his mother.

_The burning car, burning flesh, being left alone to find his way and keep himself hidden._

She’d kill him for this.

“Stop staring.” Andrew began, moving away from the edge, turning to face Neil.

His hazel eyes were too wide, a sick smile covering his face. Neil blanched, it seemed he was medicated, and a manic Andrew was probably the worst Andrew to be alone with.

“You’re medicated,” Neil stated, hoping it didn’t sound too much like a question.

“Gold star for you! In case you weren’t aware, I’m required to be like this by the law. Now, I believe you promised to tell me what happened to your throat.” Andrew pointed at Neil’s neckerchief, a hungry glint in his eyes.

“Only if you promise to lay off me.” 

“That is the deal, yes. I should let you know, I ever go back on my promises.” Andrew’s smile grew even wider. “You share a secret with me, and I’ll leave you alone. Maybe I'll even share something with you if I think your secret is worth more.”

Neil nodded, taking a tentative step forward, sitting down a respectable distance from the blond. He tugged at the neckerchief until it came away, revealing the mess of red and mottled scars.

He heard Andrew’s sharp intake of breath but didn’t look up at him.

“My father worked for the Moriyamas, he wanted to sell me to them so my mom took me and we ran. We lost him a lot of money, so he sent one of his… I think she might’ve been his mistress, after us. She did this to me.” Neil explained, carefully running the tips of his fingers over the scars. “She was trying to make me mute so I wouldn’t be able to mouth off to Riko, but she failed and we got away.” 

Andrew had dropped his cigarette, now turned fully to face Neil. He hadn’t made a move to touch him, which Neil was extremely happy for, instead just leaning in slightly to get a closer look.

“Are they still after you?” Andrew asked, his voice rough.

“Yes. I changed my name and my appearance since then, so I should be good for a few months, but until then I’m trying to keep under the radar. That’s why I need you to back off, people are starting to talk about you going at me, my father's people get around a lot, they could find me much faster.” Neil started, finally going to look at the blond.

His eyes were murderous, his hands clenched into fists.

“You’re in danger, from the Moriyamas no less, and you came here? Were you trying to put Kevin in danger?” Andrew asked, but there was no heat in his voice.

“No, I didn’t, I swear. This was… the only place I could come to, I can’t afford to go to college, I can’t take out a loan, this was my only option. I have to intention of hurting Kevin.” Neil winced, taking a sip of his water to ease his throat.

Andrew took a deep breath and leaned back.

“Fine, I believe you. I’ll back off, and I’ll even give you my protection.” Andrew said, narrowing his eyes. “The only condition is that you come with us to the club on Friday night.” 

Neil shook his head quickly, “I don’t need your protection.”

“Oh, but I think you do. You’re obviously scared of being found. I, however, am not scared of protecting people who need it. If I agree to leave you alone, you will come to Eden’s with us every Friday and you will text me if you need anything. That is our deal, yes or no?”

Neil took a deep breath as he weighed out the pros and cons.

Andrew didn’t seem like he was going to hurt him, if he wanted to he would’ve already done it the second Neil had let his guard down. He'd be protected, which didn’t actually mean all that much considering that Andrew would easily lose to any of Nathan’s men, but at least if he accepted it the blond would be less suspicious of him.

“Deal,” Neil said, handing Andrew his phone so the blond could enter his number.

The blond obliged, handing Neil’s phone back to him.

“If you think there’s anyone after you, you tell me and I’ll deal with it. Come to our dorm at 7 pm on Friday and we’ll go. Wear your nicest clothes, I refuse to be seen with you if you look homeless.”

“Okay.” Neil nodded, getting to his feet.

His heart as beating at a million miles an hour as he left the blond alone out on the roof.


	6. Chapter 6

Andrew slept soundly that night, thoroughly believing that Neil was telling the truth. It took a lot of courage to admit having so many problems, Andrew could really respect that.

Now he had another person to look after, things were going to get a bit hectic, but Andrew knew he could handle it. Neil was obviously much less cowardly than Kevin was, so he’d probably not need to rely on Andrew all that much, so it was going to be a lot less work. That, and the other guy was obviously trying to stay under the radar, so trouble was probably not going to come for a while.

Now, all Neil had to do was uphold his end of the deal by coming to Columbia. Andrew had faith that the guy wouldn’t break his promise.

He was being stupid, trusting so easily and so quickly, but something about Neil was different. He seemed… genuine but at the same time not. Like he was actually intending to keep up his end of the deal without letting himself rely on Andrew completely.

Andrew was fine with that. All that mattered to him was the promise.

So when he woke up feeling more refreshed than he had since Neil fully came into his life, Andrew had to thank the guy.

Kevin was already awake, drinking some horrific green smoothie which looked and smelled like a biohazard. Andrew wanted to gag, he had no idea what was in it, but he was actually going to kill Kevin if the bastard made him drink one.

He didn’t, instead just nodding quickly in the blond's direction, and kept on drinking.

Andrew went about his usual routine, eating an obscene amount of sugar and receiving a jab from Kevin about it.

_You need to watch it, Andrew. You’re gaining weight, Andrew. Cut down on the sweets, Andrew._

He ignored everything Kevin said, heading out to walk around campus for a bit without even looking back.

Andrew ended up in a small park on the very edge of campus, somewhere that he could pull out a cigarette without the entire student body jumping on his to tell him how unhealthy it was. The pond was full of ducks, swimming around without a care in the world.

_Oh, to be a duck. To not have to worry about a single thing._

Andrew couldn’t remember a single day of his life when he hadn’t had to worry about something.

Before hed even realised it, the cigarette had burned down and there was someone stood at the opposite end of the bench.

_Neil._

“What do you want?” The blond asked, looking up at the taller man.

Neil let out a wry grin, taking out his phone and sending off a text.

**Josten:** _I just saw you here and was wondering if you're okay_

Andrew scoffed.

“Why do you care? I’m sure you have something better to do.” Neil was dressed in a tight long-sleeved athletic shirt and some sports leggings, obviously out for a run. It made him look so much more sculpted than his usual clothes did, and Andrew was very appreciative of it.

Those thighs were so strong and flexible, Andrew was beginning to wonder how they would feel under his hands. 

Swallowing roughly, Andrew subtly shifted in the hope his body would calm down. The meds were just beginning to kick in, and right now he was struggling to get the images of Neil’s thighs out of his head.

**Josten:** _not really. Katelyn isn't feeling well and Manda won't leave her side, so I'm bored._

Andrew huffed, “well I assure you, I’m not very interesting.”

Neil smiled, biting his lip.

**Josten:** _I don't think so. You seem like a p interesting guy. You care about your family, I can respect that._

Andrew rolled his eyes.

“You seem to be very easily interested. I do nothing. I eat, sleep and sometimes show up to practice, that’s it.”

He was expecting the other man to just jog away, but he did not. He stayed, perching on the bench as far away as he could be, giving the blond plenty of space.

Before Neil had the chance to send another text, Andrew spoke up.

“Is your throat hurting?” Andrew asked.

**Josten:** _it always does. Just hurts more than normal today because I spoke so much yesterday._

Andrew didn’t believe in regret, but he had to admit to himself that he felt a little guilty. He hadn't intended to cause Neil any pain, but then again he hadn't really left an option.

“You should eat some ice cream. The cold will numb the pain a little, and it’s soft so swallowing it won’t hurt.” Andrew said, internally screaming at himself to disengage the conversation.

**Josten:** _I'm not too keen on sweet things._

“Fair enough,” Andrew replied. “The best thing is whiskey, makes it numb for half an hour.”

Neil wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

**Josten:** _not much of a drinker either._

Andrew arched an eyebrow.

“Well, this makes out outings to Colombia a little more complicated. We normally go for ice cream before the club, but I suppose we can get you something else. And you will not be forced to drink if you do not want to. Just be aware that we will stick together, so it's safe for you to drink if you do want to. Also, if someone does spike you, you come straight back to me, or head back to the bar or go to the doors, whichever is easier.”

Neil paled.

“People do not get spiked in Eden’s often, but I want you to know what to do just in case.” Andrew leaned back further into the bench. “This is as interesting as the conversation gets. Apart from this: if anyone makes any moves on you that you don’t like, come straight to me. Or punch them yourself. Whichever. Unless if its Nicky, let me deal with him.”

Neil nodded slowly before he began to stand back up.

**Josten:** _I need to be heading back now. Wanna walk with me?_

“May as well. Kevin will be on the verge of a stroke with how long I’ve been gone.” Andrew sighed, dreading the thought of Kevin actually coming to look for him, which had happened before. Walking with Neil probably wouldn’t be too bad. 

Andrew stood, frowning as Neil began to take off at a much faster pace than he was planning, so he had to work much harder than he wanted to keep up.

“You call this walking?” Andrew grumbled.

Neil slowed his pace, giving the blond an apologetic smile. 

**Josten:** _sorry, I'm a really fast walker._

“I can tell. Your legs are so much longer than mine, and then you’re a runner so it makes sense.” Andrew shrugged. “I, however, hate running.”

Neil laughed a little, and Andrew had to admit he liked the sound. Soft and rugged. Nice.

**Josten:** _that’s fine. Ur a goalie, u don’t really need to run._

Ah, Neil understood. Kevin would probably have an aneurysm if he’d seen that text since the Queen was adamant Andrew had to work on his cardio. The blond, however, much preferred weights.

“If only Kevin saw it that way, he’s always trying to get me on the treadmill.” Andrew was internally screaming, telling himself to shit up. He couldn't be having such a calm and friendly conversation with anyone except Bee. This was going to become an issue.

**Josten:** _treadmills are boring. Running outside is much better_

Andrew huffed, “I’ll take your word for it.”


	7. Chapter 7

Neil was on edge as he and Andrew got back to the centre of campus, waiting for all the stares and people running towards him to see if he was okay, but when they arrived back there was little fanfare. 

Andrew didn’t say goodbye, just walking off, but Neil found himself strangely okay with it.

He hadn't expected to have such a pleasant conversation with the infamous Monster, but he’d thoroughly enjoyed it. Andrew seemed like a nice enough guy when he wasn’t wanting to hurt you at least.

He headed back up to the dorm, finding Katelyn laid on the couch with a hot water bottle over her stomach, Amanda hovering about as she tried not to look too concerned.

“Neil! You took longer than usual, we were getting worried.” Katelyn pouted. “Where were you?”

Neil smiled, sending a quick text to tell them he’d stopped to stroke a dog he’d seen on the way – hearing them let out little coos at how adorable he was – and headed to get a quick shower.

When he returned, he lifted Katelyn’s legs so he could sit down, placing her legs in his lap.

“Ah, you’re such an angel, Neil! So many guys are useless when it comes to dealing with periods.” Katelyn smiled.

Neil blinked, having not realised that Katelyn was on her period, but recovered with a quick nod. Both girls were aware of Neil living with his mom for years, so at least he didn’t have to explain how he knew what to do.

“Like, I'm so glad that I have it, it means I'm not pregnant, but I feel dead.” Katelyn laughed. “My spine hurts, my legs hurt and my boobs are sore.”

Amanda chuckled, “better than getting pregnant in college, though.” 

“Ah, true.” Katelyn smiled. “You’re so lucky, Neil!”

He rolled his eyes, gently beginning to rub Katelyn’s feet to ease her discomfort. It'd worked on his mother while they'd been on the run, so hopefully, it would work on Katelyn as well.

The sigh she let out confirmed that, so Neil kept going, making sure to take extra care with the arches of her feet.

“Wow, this is helping so much, Neil. Will you teach Manda?”

Amanda huffed, “wow, I gave you a back rub and this is how you repay me? Last time I try and help you.”

“Noooo, I didn’t mean it like that! I mean our sweet baby Neil is an expert masseuse!” Katelyn laughed, relaxing fully into the couch.

“He also seems to be an expert in talking your boyfriend's brother down,” Amanda sat on the armchair, grinning, “McKenzie saw you sat on the roof of Fox Tower with him, Baby.”

Neil looked away, feeling his face flush a little.

“Oh God, he didn’t hurt you, did he?” Katelyn perked up a little. “I swear I’ll kill him if he hurt you.”

He shook his head quickly.

“No,” he croaked, “I was just trying to explain that I wasn’t a threat, and he’s agreed to leave me alone as long as I go to Columbia with him on Fridays.” 

Katelyn’s feet were gone in a second, and the two girls were suddenly on him.

“He said what? Neil, did Matt not tell you what they did to him last year?” Amanda demanded. “Holy fuck, he’s going to kill you. Don’t go, for the love of God, don’t.”

Neil was confused, looking around hurriedly for an escape route since the two girls were way too close for his liking.

“He hasn’t said anything.” Neil croaked, pulling away from the two girls.

“Neil, they drugged him and got him put in rehab! Ask him if you don’t believe us, but we wouldn’t lie to you about this.” Katelyn said, pulling back a little when she realised Neil was getting uneasy.

“I mean, we trust you to make your own choices, and if you trust him then that’s okay, but we know what kind of stuff he pulls. We want you to be safe.” Amanda added. “But I also know that he would tell you he believed you and then turn around and drug you, so I kinda believe you’ll be fine. I just… if he hurts you, I’ll be so pissed off with him.” She sighed at the end.

“Well, I don’t trust him for a second.” Katelyn huffed.

“Because he hates you. I don’t think Andrew hates Neil at all, to be honest, it seems like he's neutral at the very least” Amanda sighed. “You know what? You do you, Neil. I trust your judgement.”

Katelyn was gone in a second, slamming the door behind her.

Neil’s heart pinched, making his chest feel tight. He hated fighting, he didn’t want to fall out with Katelyn. He didn’t even fully understand what was going on. He hadn’t known about the thing with matt, and to be honest he wanted to hear it from Matt himself before he drew any conclusions.

He swallowed, feeling the panic rising in his chest and squeezing the breath from his lungs.

“Hey, Neil, take some deep breaths for me, okay?” Amanda whispered. “Look, Kate has a massive issue with Andrew, understandably, so that’s why she doesn’t want you to go. She's on her period too, so she’s more upset than she normally would be.”

Neil nodded, sucking in a shuddering breath.

“She’s not angry at you, Baby. She's just worried about you, she doesn’t want you to get hurt.” Amanda drew the young man into a hug, squeezing him gently. “But I know Andrew well enough to know he doesn’t drug people for no reason.”

“what?” Neil asked, confused.

“I mean, it isn’t my story to tell, but if you ask Matt he’ll tell you the reason Andrew drugged him.” Amanda smiled, “don’t worry, I trust your judgement. Just remember, if you need us for any reason, call and we’ll come running.”

Neil nodded, “you know I will.”

Amanda laughed, “good lad. Now, we should start on the homework!”

\-----

The rest of the week was relatively quiet, not much happened in the way of Andrew since the blond stayed well away from him since they met at the park. Aaron had visited Katelyn twice in the week, and each time Neil had had to leave to spare himself having to hear the two of them going at it.

Renee had continued to teach him ASL, and now he was able to describe people, clothes, food and the weather. Renee had praised how quickly he’d learnt, and now he and his roommates were beginning to communicate in sign while in their dorm. Neil enjoyed it, he appreciated his friend's efforts to make his life easier.

Amanda seemed to get more stressed as Friday approached, but not once did she try and change Neil’s mind about going with them to Colombia. Neil had spoken to Matt about the incident the year before, and the gentle giant had praised Andrew for doing it, hailing that the blond had gotten him clean quicker than he could ever imagine and that Andrew only did it with Matt’s mothers' permission.

Neil had decided that he was going to go, he trusted Andrew, and he had faith that Andrew trusted him as well.

So, he ended up outside of the Monsters’ dorm room, still extremely calm, knocking softly. The door was ripped open, Neil was surprised it hadn’t come off the hinges, and he came face-to-face with Nicky.

“Oh my God! Andrew, he came! The cutie is here!” Nicky called, signalling for Neil to enter the dorm. “Come in,”

Neil stepped into the living area, suddenly feeling a little underdressed. Everyone was wearing black an leather, while Neil was wearing a dark blue pair of skinny jeans that were tight enough to make his balls feel squashed and a black Henley that hugged his torso and made every line of muscle prominent. Amanda had even styled his hair into light curls and applied some simple black eyeliner to make his eyes pop.

He felt three pairs of eyes roaming over him, and heard Aaron let out an annoyed scoff.

“Wow, you can dress up well, Neil!” Nicky gushed. “You are a vision.”

Neil blushed, looking down at the carpet, noticing that his trainers clashed with everyone else's boots. Maybe he should’ve taken Amanda's advice and worn his Docs. 

“And here I was thinking I’d have to give you some clothes to wear.” Andrew huffed, “this is acceptable. Just take out your contacts and we’ll leave.”

That made Neil’s entire body tense and gaze snap up to meet the blonds.

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“I can tell those are coloured contacts, Neil. I hate brown eyes, and Kevin knows from experience coloured contacts are a bitch in the club.” Andrew said.

Kevin nodded quickly, “I tried blue contacts once, it was the worst night of my life.”

Neil had no idea why Kevin would be wearing coloured contacts, it wasn’t like he could blend in with that tattoo on his face, but it did make sense. He was sure there was a warning not to go into bright lights on the back of the contact box. It was probably a good idea, but he was scared to take them out, he hated his blue eyes.

“I don’t like my eyes,” Neil said bluntly. 

“Then don’t look in the mirror, we don’t care either way. Just don’t want you to go blind.” Andrew shrugged.

Neil sighed in defeat, reaching up to take out his contacts, blinking afterwards to help his eyes get used to the absence of them.

He headed to the bathroom, flushing the contacts and pointedly avoiding looking in the mirror before he returned to the four other men.

“Okay, let’s go. Neil, remember to text me if you need something but do not try and talk in the club, you will hurt your throat.” Andrew told him, ushering everyone out of the dorm.

Neil followed on silently, keeping at the same pace as Andrew until they got to the car.

“Nicky’s driving,” Andrew said, pulling Neil towards the back of the GS. “Make sure you get your seatbelt on, or you will die.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad! Besides, the only reason I’m driving is that Andrew decided he was going to go sober tonight.” Nicky huffed, shooting a glance at Andrew in the rearview mirror as he started the car and pulled out of the carpark.

“Going to the club medicated is a worse idea,” Andrew answered. “Wake me up when we get there.”

Neil watched as Andrew leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes, breathing evening out within minutes.

Keven turned around, quickly looking over the blond and nodding softly to Neil before turning back around to look forward.

“You should go to sleep too, Neil. It’s a long drive.” Aaron said softly.

\-----

Neil woke up to hear Andrew retching out of the car door and Nicky panicking about it. There were in a car park in front of a bright neon restaurant, Kevin and Aaron were already out of the car and crowding Andrew to see if he was doing okay.

“Maybe you should take your meds.” Kevin started.

“No, he said he doesn’t want them. We should just get some Cracker Dust, it’ll help take the edge off.” Nicky called as he shut off the engine and got out of the car. Neil quickly moved across the seat Aaron had vacated and got out of the car, walking around to see Andrew.

He was sweating, his face somehow paler than usual, and his entire body was tremoring. He looked weak, Neil honestly didn’t know how to react.

“What’s up?” Neil asked, to nobody in particular.

“He’s required to be on the medication by law, but if he doesn’t take them he goes into withdrawal, so here he is.” Kevin sighed.

“I’ve never heard of any meds that do that,” Neil said, looking back to Andrew and crouching down so he could properly see Andrew’s face.

“Neither have we,” Aaron added, “I haven’t heard of any antipsychotics that do this.”

Neil frowned, “Andrew, are you feeling okay? We don’t have to go to the club if you’re not feeling up to it.”

Andrew shook his head, climbing out of the car and slamming the door shut behind him, “I’m fine.”

He started heading towards the restaurant – Sweetie’s – leaving everyone else to follow him confusedly. Neil honestly wasn’t sure how Andrew could face eating, but he decided not to ask as the five of them slid into a booth.

“So, Neil, what do you want?” Nicky asked, watching as Neil read the menu.

“Uh, I’m not big on sweets. Maybe a banana split?” Neil cringed, hoping he hadn’t done something to upset them. All but Kevin seemed offended at his choice.

“Ah, okay, that’s fine. Want some Dust?” Nicky asked. The twins turned to face him, Andrew looking questioning and Aaron looking hopeful. Neil had no idea what Dust was, but judging by the earlier conversation it was probably a drug.

“What’s Dust?”

“Just a party drug. Non-addictive gives you a good high. A good way to loosen up, but it's fine if you don’t want any.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Neil told them, watching as they nodded in acceptance.

\-----

The banana split was good, if not a little too sweet for Neil’s liking, and he felt much better after getting something to eat. He felt more ready for the club.

Andrew seemed to have recovered, the Dust undoubtedly taking effect, and the blond got behind the wheel to drive them down to the club. 

Eden’s Twilight itself was a nice enough place, but Neil wasn’t too fond of the noise. He could feel his entire body thrumming with the bass, and the bright lights were hurting his eyes. He followed Nicky and Aaron through the crowd, feeling Kevin close to his back, as they headed to the bar.

A bartender grinned at them as they approached, his chocolate skin being perfectly highlighted by the blue and red strobes, and Neil could tell his eyes were a striking green. Neil had to admit the guy was attractive, and he felt himself smiling back as the bartender looked to him.

His mouth moved, but Neil was struggling to tell what he was saying, but he was sure the guy was asking what his name was.

Nicky, who was shouting loud enough for Neil to be able to hear him, replied to the question, “this is Neil! He can’t talk, but this is his first time in a club so be nice!”

The bartender nodded, leaning over, “I’m Roland, nice to meet you! The cousins used to work here, and it isn’t often they bring other people. Would you like something alcoholic or no?”

Neil shook his head hurriedly.

“Ah, okay!” Roland smiled. 

_Water_ Neil signed automatically.

“Sure thing!” Roland smiled even wider, ducking down and returning with a bottle of water, condensation already forming on the surface of it. Neil beamed, smiling up at Roland.

“Wow! Roland, I had no idea you knew ASL!” Nicky gushed as Andrew approached.

“Eh, it’s a good thing to learn.” Roland shrugged, his eyes slowly lighting up as he saw Andrew. “So I’m guessing it’s the usual for you guys?”

Andrew nodded, watching Neil closely as Roland began to rush around to make drinks.


	8. Chapter 8

Andrew’s stomach ached, he felt sick and his limbs were heavy, and to top it all off he couldn’t stop looking at Neil.

Those bright blue eyes were stunning, the clothes he was wearing made Andrew want to touch him so badly, a dull throb of arousal was beginning to rise in his belly.

His stomach gave another heave. He shouldn’t have gone so long without a dose. Doing it for a game was fine, but this was bad. Andrew really wasn’t feeling good.

He'd have to catch Roland at some point, distract himself.

He gave Roland the look, the one that told him to leave the bar next time Andrew came over and follow him into the back, and turned. Aaron and Nicky had already gone to their table, Kevin and Neil stayed to dutifully follow Andrew back.

Neil seemed a little nervous around all the people, clinging onto his water like life depended on it, but he had a goofy smile on his face after Roland had surprised them all.

The smile was making Andrew’s stomach flutter with something. He shut the feeling down immediately.

How could he be feeling this way about somebody he considered a threat only a few days before? It made no sense.

Andrew couldn’t make sense of himself, he’d have to talk to Bee about it. She was surprisingly tolerant of his sexuality crises.

They knocked back the shots quickly, Neil sipping on his water slowly and tugging at the neckerchief, blue eyes flickering in the bright lights.

**Josten:** _how long will we be staying?_

Andrew frowned, glancing at the taller man. He didn’t look uncomfortable in any way, in fact, he was seeming quite relaxed now they were sat down and out of the way, but Andrew could see him shying away from the speakers a little. 

“An hour and a half, and then we will be spending the night at our house in Colombia. If you are too uncomfortable, just tell me and we will leave.” Andrew told him, searching his eyes for any hint of distress and finding none.

**Josten:** _I was a bit nervous at first, but I think I like this… mind if I go dance?_

Andrew shrugged, gesturing to the dance floor where both Nicky and Aaron were dancing like there was no tomorrow. Kevin was making his way out there too, knowing not to get drunk just yet. Andrew had made it clear that he intended to _“catch up”_ with Roland, and there was no way Kevin would let himself be alone.

Neil nodded, getting up and heading to the dancefloor, taking a hand Nicky had outstretched to him an joining the other three. Neil’s hips were instantly moving to the beat, his ass looking amazing in those sinfully tight jeans. 

Neil was obviously a good dancer, being a damned cheerleader and all, but Andrew honestly wasn’t expecting him to be rivalling Nicky. Neil moved perfectly in time with the music, his body twisting and turning in a way which made him look irresistible. He was turning heads, many people were ogling him.

Andrew was included in that group.

He had to go find Roland.

~~~~~

His activities with Roland were getting more and more common as Andrew fully settled into his sexuality and became more willing to experiment, but this time things were feeling a little different.

Andrew was on his knees, as usual, his lips wrapped around Roland’s tip, but his own body was reacting a lot more than usual. 

Instead of feeling the dull warmth from being intimate with a guy, Andrew’s belly was on fire, his pants feeling way too tight. He was never normally at this stage until Roland had already finished.

All because he'd let himself slip into a Neil-fuelled fantasy. He imagined the body in front of him to be Neil’s, imagined the sounds the blue-eyed man would make, imagined how he would react to a flick of Andrew’s tongue or a squeeze around the base.

How he would look when he was flushed and sweaty, feeling the arousal wash over him.

Andrew felt himself getting way too close to the edge, way further than he would ever allow himself to get in the company of another person.

He palmed himself idly, humming around Roland as the other man let out loud moans, trying his best to not touch Andrew in any way.

When Roland had finished, Andrew was quick to shoo him away, determined to get at least ten minutes to himself before he had to return to the others. His brother and cousin wouldn’t notice him missing, but Kevin would. Neil would.

_Neil._

Andrew let his thoughts run wild, replacing all the mental images of Roland with Neil and revelling in the heat that shot through his belly. He moved his hand quickly, muffling his moans with the other hand, arching his back against the wall. 

He wondered how Neil would feel underneath his hands. Would he be soft and supple? Hard with muscle but still lithe and pretty? Smooth? Rugged? How would his moans sound? Would they be high pitched and quiet? Would they be slightly louder and rough like his voice was?

The mystery was making Andrew feel even hotter. His legs tremored, struggling to hold up his weight despite how strong his legs were.

Would Neil’s legs shake when he was this close? Andrew decided that they would. He imagined Neil’s thighs shaking as he went over the edge, collapsing underneath him as the aftershocks finally ceased.

Andrew let out a loud gasp, his shoulders shaking as thin lines of cum shot from his dick and hit the floor in front of him. His breathing was ragged, his legs were shaking so much he was sure he would fall, but he managed to keep standing.

His phone vibrating in his pocket shocked him out of the thoughts of what Neil would look like on his comedown, and sure enough, he had five texts from said man.

**Josten:** _where r u??_  
**Josten:** _u okay? Ur not sick are you?_  
**Josten:** _Kevin’s worried about you_  
**Josten:** _if ur not feeling well we can go home_  
**Josten:** _Andrew I'm serious if u don’t answer me I will tear this club apart looking 4 u_

Andrew’s heart thrummed. Neil was worried about him? That was a surprise, and that was something new. Nobody had ever texted him because they were worried before. Not even Kevin. 

**Andrew:** _I'm fine just came into the back room because I wasn’t feeling good. I'll be right out._

Neil didn’t reply, but Andrew could see he’d read it. 

Leaving the cum where it was, Andrew headed out.

~~

Neil seemed relieved when Andrew got back, and the blond immediately noticed why. Kevin was slumped on the table, obviously drunk beyond the point of being able to sit straight, and was shouting things at Neil. Andrew decided it was time for them to leave.

Neil had no problem going back onto the dancefloor to get the other two, seemingly desperate to get away from the drunken mess that was Kevin Day.

Andrew had a task and a half getting Kevin to the car, but he managed to get the taller man into the front passenger seat before the other three had even reached the car. Neil seemed on edge when he climbed into the back of the car, but Nicky’s incessant chattering about how could of a dancer the cheerleader was seemed to settle him down a little.

That was until Kevin next spoke.

“Nathaniel, I can’t believe you’re at Palmetto and ya don play Exthee!” Kevin laughed. “Riko iznt gon be happy when he finds out you’re alive!”

Neil tensed up, glaring daggers at Kevin, “for the last time Day, I’m not this Nathaniel guy.”

“But you hafta be! You have the eyes!”

Andrew slowed the car down ever so slightly, wanting to see how Neil reacted to that one. Could this have been the reason Neil didn’t like his eyes? 

Andrews thoughts came to a screeching halt.

Neil was on the run from the Moriyamas. Kevin had mentioned Riko wasn’t going to be happy when he found out Neil – Nathaniel – was still alive. Riko was a Moriyama. Kevin had grown up with Riko if anyone knew about Neil being on the run it'd be him.

Andrew had just put Neil in danger when he was meant to be protecting him. He was a fucking idiot.

“Kevin, you’re fucking drunk, go to sleep,” Andrew growled, cutting a dark glare across to the green-eyed man.

“But he’s Nathaniel! You were right, he is a threat! Riko will come for him, and then he will come for me as well.” Kevin was shouting now.

Aaron seemed extremely uncomfortable, glancing at Neil out of the corner of his eyes.

“Kevin, Neil isn’t dangerous.” Aaron sighed, “trust me, Katelyn and Amanda would know if he was, since he fucking lives with them.”

Kevin pouted, “I was surprised he could hide this long, but I'm sure it's him. Those are the Butcher’s eyes!”

Nicky was distressed, and Andrew could feel his heart rate beginning to speed up. He hated to see Nicky so upset, he hated the fact that Aaron had been the one to defend Neil when it was supposedly Andrew’s job. He hated the fact he’d sworn to protect Neil and now Kevin was probably going to be the one suffering from that.

“Kevin, shut up. Neil is under my protection, as are you. Riko will not harm either of you, and I swear if you go and blab to Riko about Neil being here, I will call of our deal.” Andrew snapped as they pulled into the driveway of the house. “Neil has already informed me of the risks, he did it before I made the deal with him, so shut the fuck up and deal with it, you fucking coward.”

The three men in the backseat were silent. Aaron was the first to speak up.

“Well, if you trust him, Andrew, then so do I.”

“Me too,” Nicky added. “I knew there was a reason we weren’t going to try and get answers from him, it's because Andrew already trusts him.” 

Neil was still tense, but he was still a lot more relaxed than he had been.

“I’m Neil now, Kevin, and I'm happy to keep living as I am. I don’t belong to the Moriyamas, and I intend to keep hiding from my father.” Neil’s voice was cracking up and his throat had to be in agony, but he still went for Kevin, his blue eyes hard and glaring. 

Kevin finally shut up. 

Neil was the first one out of the car, and instead of going into the house with Nicky, Aaron and Kevin, he stayed outside with Andrew.

**Josten:** _I want to go back. I'll call Amanda or something, but om not staying here with Kevin._

“That’s fine,” Andrew said, trying not to let his disappointment show, he’d been looking forward to having another conversation with the man like the one they'd had in the park.

Neil nodded, sending a text to who Andrew assumed was Amanda, before standing up straight.

“Just so you know, I do not care about who you are. I would like to know the full story, but you can tell me that when you’re ready. Until then, just know that I will still be upholding my end of the deal. You will be safe, I will protect you from Riko. If your father comes for you, then I will protect you from him as well. I apologise for putting you in this situation.”

Neil laughed softly.

“It’s fine. Kate was worried that you were going to drug me.” Neil shrugged. “I think I prefer this.”

“I was never going to drug you, Neil. I believed everything you told me, and I was aware that you weren’t going to give me the full story. I know how much time it takes to trust people that much, but thank you for trusting me with what you gave.”

Neil nodded, looking at his phone.

“She’s coming, can you text her the address?” Neil asked, handed his phone over, and Andrew dutifully typed out the address and sent it off. He handed the phone back instantly.

“Okay, she should take around two hours to get here. Do you want something to eat while you wait or a nap? You can have a shower too if you want. I have an en-suite so you won't have to worry about running into anybody.” Andrew offered. “And I will not allow you to stay out here, it’s cold.”

Neil let out a sigh, “can I have a shower and a glass of water?”

~~~~~

Andrew left the glass of water on the edge of his desk and hunted through his wardrobe for the biggest clothes he had, hoping he had something that Neil would fit in to. He eventually found a pair of dark sweats and an oversized hoodie. He threw in a pair of underwear fresh from the packet, but he had no socks and wasn’t risking possible athletes foot. Not that hed ever had it, but Aaron had and Andrew couldn't guarantee his twin hadn’t worn any of his socs before.

Picking up the pile of clothes, Andrew headed to the door of his bathroom, hearing the shower shut off. Neil had been in there a while, probably scrubbing off the layers of sweat that normally built up after being in the club.

Andrew knocked softly, trying not to startle the other man, the number of times Andrew had jumped out of his skin when someone knocked on the bathroom door was no joke.

Neil let out a noise to show that he’d heard the knock.

“I have some clothes here if you want. The underwear has never been worn and the rest is clean. I have no socks that haven’t been worn before though, so you’ll have to stick it out with the ones you already had.”

Neil cracked the door open ever so slightly, poking his head around it in a way that made sure Andrew couldn’t see his body. The blond tried not to look at the expanse of Neil’s shoulder, but the edge of a nasty looking scar was making it hard.

Andrew looked at Neils crystal blue eyes, giving himself a mental note to ask about it another day, and maybe he’d show Neil his scars as well.

“Thank you.” Neil croaked, taking the clothes. “Do you mind me using your deodorant?” 

Andrew hummed, “it's either that or you stink.”

Neil nodded quickly, closing the door. Andrew could hear him moving around, even as he sat on the bed, deciding whether or not to get changed into his pyjamas and get comfortable. Quickly, he threw on a baggy jumper and a pair of sweats, cuddling up under his blankets to get comfortable.

Neil entered the bedroom again, looking damned adorable wearing Andrew’s clothes. The blonds chest tightened a little, but he shit the feeling down immediately. Now wasn’t the tie to be thinking of Neil like that, while the other man was upset.

“You can come on the bed if you want.” Andrew began. “Just don’t touch me, and I won't touch you either.” 

Neil shook his head, instead taking the outrageously comfortable armchair in the corner of Andrews bedroom. They sat in comfortable silence for the next hour and a half before Neil’s phone rang, signalling Amanda had arrived.

Andrew looked up from his copy of Pride and Prejudice, quickly getting out of the bed and showing Neil to the door.

“You can keep the clothes. Tell Amanda I said thank you for taking care of you.” Andrew whispered to Neil as the taller man slid out of the door. 

A short nod was the only sign that Neil had even heard him.


	9. Chapter 9

Amanda said nothing as Neil got into the car, only giving Andrew a curt nod before she pulled away, keeping a close eye on Neil.

“Your eyes are blue? That’s… surprising.” Amanda began, her voice calm. “And you haven’t been drugged. Not that I thought Andrew was going to, but I was still a little worried about you.”

Neil turned to look at her, knowing he was going to have to speak since he couldn’t distract her while she was driving. He prepared to speak over the loud engine of Amanda’s Mercedes.

“No, he didn’t do anything.” He began. “It was Kevin, he’s the reason I wanted to come back.”

“Kevin? You mean the guy you’ve been idolising all this time? What did he do? I’ll break his face, I've taken on Andrew before and I will do it again if Kevin’s hurt you.”

Neil’s pulse skyrocketed, and he suddenly felt the urge to start talking Amanda down. He didn’t want her getting hurt on his behalf, hed heard some of the stories about their fights the year before. It sounded like Amanda had won a few of them, but at the same time, she’d come away with some pretty bad injuries.

“He found out some stuff about my past and it was making me uncomfortable. Andrew made him stop, but I just didn't want to stay. I stayed in Andrew’s room and we just sat together, he never did anything to hurt me.” Neil told her, watching as her death grip on the steering wheel loosen a little.

“I’m glad. Well, not glad about Kevin, he's a bitch for making my boy uncomfortable. I’m glad that Andrew helped you out. Like, I have very mixed feeling on that guy, you know that, but I really respect him for that.” Amanda smiled. “He’s not as bad as Kate makes him out to be.”

Neil nodded, “I know.”

Amanda smiled, “I’m glad you get on with him.” She paused. “Do you wanna talk about what Kevin said.”

Neil chewed his bottom lip. On one hand, he didn’t want to lie to Amanda, his first-ever true friend, but then again if he told her too much it could put her at risk. She wasn’t Andrew, Neil had no real reason to tell all to her.

He decided being vague was the best option.

“I wear contacts because I have my fathers eyes, and I hate him so much,” Neil winced, pain lancing up his throat. “Kevin was just going at me because of my eyes.”

Amanda looked confused, but she nodded slowly, “I see. Thank you for telling me. I won't say anything about your eyes, you just go back to wearing contacts.”

Neil shook his head, “Andrew doesn’t want me to wear them.”

The engine revved loudly as Amanda overtook a stream of cars on the interstate, so Neil wasn’t sure if the woman had heard him, but the look of understanding flooding her face showed that she had.

“Sounds like something he’d do. He doesn’t like brown eyes, does he? Think that’s most of the reason he doesn’t like me. That, and the fact I called him out for how he treats Kate, and I may have threatened Aaron with castration once.” Amanda smiled weakly. “But I digress, it makes sense he’d tell you not to wear them if he doesn’t like brown eyes, it seems like he wants to stay friends with you.”

Neil scoffed.

“What? I get that I don’t know Andrew very well at all, but I do know that he doesn’t act like this normally. I think he genuinely wants to be friends with you, or whatever his equivalent of that is.”

Neil shook his head. 

“Ah, deny it if you want, but I see it.” Amanda smiled. “Anything else you wanna talk about?”

“I like dancing in the clubs and Andrew told me to tell you to say thanks for taking care of me.” Neil shrugged, turning to look out of the windscreen to signal that he was done talking.

“Ah, I figured that you’d enjoy the dancing. And text him to tell him I said “no problem”.”

\------

Neil woke up at midday on Saturday, yawning and stretching his spine. He looked over to the girls’ bunk beds, seeing that both of them were gone. Probably in the gym in preparation for their last-minute cheer practise at three. Or maybe they'd gone to see Renee.

But they’d have woken him up if they were doing either of those things. 

He heard faint voices and decided that they were still in, just in the living room so they wouldn’t wake him.

Neil smiled, getting up and heading into the living room, stopping dead when he got through the door.

Kevin was in his dorm. Andrew was in his dorm. Amanda looked ready to start throwing fists and Katelyn was sending a death glare to the two men.

“Look, I personally don’t have an issue with you being here, Minyard, it’s the damn Exy Queen that I'm worried about.” Amanda huffed. “You upset my best friend, Day, and I can’t allow you in my dorm knowing that.”

“I bought him to apologise, de la Montero.” Andrew hissed, frowning as Amanda rolled her eyes at the incorrect name being used.

“Yeah, I heard you the first time, and I get why. But I don’t want Neil to be upset, Minyard, so make Day keep his mouth shut about-“

“’Manda.” Neil croaked, staring at the two other men as their heads snapped around to look at him. Kevin’s eyes widened slightly, and Andrew gave his drugged-up smile. It was an oddly sadistic smile, but Neil wasn’t afraid. Andrew had proved that he was trustworthy.

“Neil, I wanted to say sorry for what I said last night.” Kevin began. “I-I don’t remember it, but they’ve filled me in, and I'm so sorry. I know I should’ve shut up, but I assure you I'm not going to tell anyone. You have my word.”

Neil nodded, “okay.” 

Kevin nodded quickly, his tanned skin taking on a flushed tone.

“Okay, you’ve apologised, so get out.” Amanda snapped. “Thanks for looking after him and not drugging him, Minyard.”

“I’m offended you’d think I’d act without reason.” Andrew’s smile grew wider.

“Oh, I knew you wouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t worried.” Amanda met him with an equally sharp grin. “Now, get out. We’re about to have brunch.”

Neil hadn’t even realised how hungry he was until his stomach let out a loud growl. Startled, he wrapped his arms around his middle and felt his cheeks flushing, feeling burning hot as he realised Andrew was still staring at him.

Katelyn just smiled softly, “there are some bacon and eggs already done, and I’m baking some fresh bread for us to share!” 

Neil smiled brightly at her, escaping into the kitchen to get himself a healthy portion. He could smell the bread in the oven, and it made his stomach growl again.

The front door closed, and the girls entered the kitchen, both smiling widely when they saw Neil already tucking in.

“Ah, good to see you’ve still got an appetite,” Amanda whispered, stroking his shoulder. “And what did I tell you about Andrew liking you? He would never come here normally, he hates us too much, and he’d never normally force someone to apologise. This is unprecedented. We have to film these interactions.”

“Or we could just leave it and let them live?” Katelyn suggested. “Maybe Andrew being with Neil will mean I can be with Aaron.”

Neil was extremely confused.

“uhh, we’re not dating.”

“Not yet you aren’t, my child.” Amanda grinned. “I heckin saw Andrew’s reaction to you.”

“’Manda, don’t tease him.” Katelyn smiled. “It’s good that you’re making other friends, Sweetie. Sure, I severely question your choice, but Andrew seems to tolerate you more than he does other people, and he didn’t drug you, so I guess I support this.”

“Okay?” Neil shrugged. “I guess he’s pretty nice, all things considered.”

Katelyn let out a bitter laugh, but she didn’t say anything further, just setting down next to the shorter man.

“So, you didn’t go ham on Kevin, that was surprising. I expected you to kick off because we all know that you are perfectly capable of fucking shit up if you had to.” Amanda sat opposite the two others. “I’m guessing you’re gonna turn up at their dorm after we go to see Renee, right? Talk about it without us being there.”

Neil sighed, nodding. He would need to do that, he couldn’t exactly talk about his father when the girls were there, they’d never understand. All he needed to do was make Kevin swear to keep his mouth shut, then explain the full thing to Andrew so the blond didn’t get suspicious of him. It’d take a lot of explaining.

Katelyn let out a sigh, “ah, well I trust you. You came home when you were uncomfortable, I trust that you’ll sort this out by yourself, Sweetie.”

“Yeah, we both do, Neil.” Amanda grinned. “Just make sure you don’t strain your throat, okay?”

Katelyn almost choked on an egg, but Neil didn’t understand why. It'd been completely innocent.

Then, Neil caught the possible implementation of the sentence and blushed heavily.

\-----

Learning ASL with Renee was fun. Since Neil was a fast learner, he was now able to have full-on conversations with the pastel girl. He couldn’t help the wide smile that crossed his face, watching as Amanda and Katelyn watched on proudly. Renee let out a few musical giggles whenever Neil made a joke, teaching him a few new signs on the way.

“Wow, you’re putting us to shame, baby!” Amanda laughed. “But we’d better be going now, I bet Renee wants to go off with Andrew!”  
Renee giggled again, shaking her head.

“I needed to ask Neil something quite important if you don’t mind?” Renee asked. “But you two are learning so quickly as well, you’re all on the level to be using ASL only to communicate at home, don’t you think?”

Katelyn smiled softly, “Yeah, we can do that, I’m much more confident that we’re getting it right, and practice makes perfect, am I right?”

“Hell yeah!” Amanda agreed. “See ya, Baby!”

Neil watched them go, his hands beginning to get clammy. He knew Renee wasn’t going to hurt him, she wouldn’t hurt a fly, but Neil was still nervous.

_Hey, so Andrew told me that you needed to learn to fight. I was just wondering if you want to since Andrew didn’t give me any explanation._ Renee signed, a small smile covering her face.

Neil was shocked for a second, his mind going at a hundred miles an hour as he tried to figure out exactly why Andrew would have asked Renee to teach him to fight. Probably so Neil had a chance against anyone who came for him, which he had to admit was very thoughtful of Andrew to tell Renee.

_I mean, I’d appreciate it, but you’ve already done so much for me, Renee, I can’t ask you to do this as well._

_Of course, you can, Neil. I spar with Andrew every Saturday night._

That floored Neil for a few seconds. The image of Renee fighting was one that he didn’t even think could happen. Renee was too sweet and kind, there was no way that she would be able to take on Andrew, who was known for how hard he could hit. It was an image that didn’t fit.

“Ah, I see you looking at me like that.” Renee laughed, suddenly switching back to speech. “Let me speak this, it gets a bit complicated. I grew up in a gang, Neil. I had to fight to stay alive, it’s a long story, one that I’m not comfortable disclosing to you right now, but I taught Andrew to fight. I taught him to use my knives if you’ve ever seen him using them, that was all me.” Renee smiled. “So we spar to keep our skills up in case we need to fight, and Andrew wanted to invite you but he wanted me to ask since he wanted me to be okay with it as well.”

_I mean, I’m in._ Neil signed.

Renee smiled, _then go get changed into something comfortable and meet us in the gym._


	10. Chapter 10

Andrew frowned as he took his sweatpants out of his drawer, sure that he had a black pair but was unable to find them, so now he was stuck with light grey. They would show his sweat. He didn’t like that at all.

He put them on anyway, sliding his feet into his trainers and making his way to the gym, his heart beginning to hammer as he approached.

He hoped that Renee had managed to convince Neil to go sparring with them since he knew Neil needed to learn to fight if he had the damn Butcher after him.

Oh yes, Andrew had googled it, and he was not happy at all. While Neil was most definitely not a threat, he certainly had a lot of threats after him. Neil needed to know how to protect himself, because if Andrew couldn’t be there then the brunet was as good as dead.

Andrew wasn’t sure how to react when he entered the gym and saw Neil and Renee already sparring. Neil was wearing his athletic leggings and a tight shirt, looking absolutely sinful as he threw punches and kicks at Renee, even managing to land a few of them. 

_Impressive._

Andrew approached, his eyes widening as Neil managed to get a grip on Renee and flip her, pinning her down. The grip was hard enough to keep her still but light enough as to not hurt the pastel girl.

Andrew felt a throb in his stomach as he saw the thin sheen of sweat making Neil’s beautiful tanned skin glisten.

“Impressive,” Renee told him, gently pushing against his hands so Neil let her go, stepping back as she got to her feet. “You’re much better than I thought you’d be, but there’s still some room for improvement. Your kicks are a little sloppy, and you left a few openings that could have been disastrous had you been fighting people who wanted to actually harm you.” Renee pointed out. “May I touch you, to help you correct your stance?”

Neil nodded, letting Renee shift his body into a new position.

“Now, stay in this position and tell me how much less the hits hurt,” Renee said, throwing punches right at Neil’s abdomen. A small frown was the only hint that Neil had even felt it. A typical defensive stance did wonders.

Andrew entered the ring, nodding politely at Renee before he went back to drinking in the sight of Neil. His eyes were still blue, and they were burning with a fire Andrew hadn't previously seen, but one that he found oddly familiar.

_The pure satisfaction of winning a fight._

“Hello, Andrew. Sorry that we started without you, but I wanted to gauge Neil’s skills. He’s very good!”

Suddenly, Andrew felt the weight of Neil’s stare. It was heavy with many unspoken questions, probably about why Andrew wanted him there to learn to fight when he obviously already knew how to, but the blond shrugged it off.

“It’s fine, let’s start.”

\-----

Andrew’s pride was a bit bruised after he got absolutely destroyed by Renee and her absolutely insane uppercuts, but seeing Neil get pummelled straight afterwards made him feel a little better about himself.

But now he and Neil were sparring, Andrew’s blood was really pumping. Seeing Neil looking so fired up really got to him, and seeing the way Neils' throat moved as he chugged the water…

_Andrew was really fucking gay._

So when he actually got around to sparring with the brunet, Andrew was both determined and very distracted.

Neil could hit hard, Andrew gave him that, and his knowledge of all the pressure points that Andrew had left exposed and using it to his advantage was also very impressive. Andrew blocked the hits the best he could, grunting loudly when Neil managed a particularly hard punch right to his solar plexus.

Despite being horrifically winded, Andrew didn’t miss a beat, hitting back equally hard and knocking Neil clean off his feet. He landed with a loud groan, his head bouncing off the padded floor of the ring in a way that must’ve hurt.

Neil responded in turn by pulling Andrew’s leg out from under him, sending the blond crashing down as well. Andrew growled, quickly pinning Neil down by using his hips to pin the brunets down.

Time seemed to stop moving.

Neil’s chest was rising and falling quickly with laboured breaths, his wide blue eyes gazing up at Andrew with so much heat that the blond almost shied away. Almost.

He could feel Neil’s strong thighs beneath him, struggling to push the blond off, but ultimately just causing Andrew’s hips to slide against his own.

Neil tried to throw his fists, but failed yet again, ending up with Andrew pinning him down completely, looming over him.

Andrew could feel his cock beginning to twitch and take an interest in the firm warmth underneath him. He thanked himself for wearing a jockstrap because it was obvious that Neil hadn’t yet noticed the slight bulge in the front of Andrew’s sweats.

Andrew finally let go, getting to his feet and pulling Neil up. The brunet grinned, quickly signing something to him before he left the ring to go and stand with Renee.

“Well done, that was a good one!” Renee called out proudly.

Andrew wondered if the sign had been telling him that it was a good spar or not. He wondered if it’d be worth learning a little ASL, just so he could maybe communicate with the brunette properly, instead of just talking at him.

But right now all he could think of was the heat pooling in his belly. The way his body ached with want as his eyes swept over Neil. The way Renee had caught on, giving him a soft smile. Andrew hated that smile.

He hated the way that he was being so obvious, this was extremely out of the ordinary for him. It was probably only a matter of time before Neil caught onto it since Andrew was beginning to feel the tightness in the front of his sweats now.

He turned himself away from the other two, picking up his bottle of water and taking a few large gulps, willing himself to calm down and regain his composure.

Neil and Renee just continued to sign at each other, which Andrew was thankful for since it was a distraction, but he also felt… strange. Strange because he didn’t know what was being said, and he was the only one who didn’t know. That didn’t make him feel very good. What if they were talking about him?

What if Neil had noticed and now he and Renee were talking about it, laughing about it?

Andrew’s heart seized, he tried to calm himself down through his drug-induced mania. Sober Andrew wouldn’t be getting worried about this stuff. Heck, sober Andrew wouldn’t have even gotten hard. 

“Andrew, Neil wants you to teach him that move if that’s okay with you?” Renee called, her voice soft but laced with something a little more savage. Andrew wasn’t too keen on that, not one bit.

He turned to look, seeing Neil’s hopeful look, and felt his arms locking up. He didn’t want to disappoint him, he looked like he’d be crushed if the blond refused, but Andrew was absolutely not risking it. He didn’t know how his body was going to react.

“No,” Andrew said firmly, being pleasantly surprised when Neil just nodded in acceptance. “I’m hungry, I’m going back to the dorm.”

Renee nodded, and Neil let out a croaked thank you for sparring while Andrew stormed to the door, slamming it behind him as he left.


	11. Chapter 11

Neil was sure Andrew had started avoiding him.

After their sparring session with Renee, Neil hadn’t seen the blond at all. It was Friday again, and Neil was getting worried.

So, he did the only thing he thought he could do and ask Aaron, who was currently curled up on their couch with a hot water bottle across his stomach, grumbling something about Andrew hitting him.

Neil reached over the back of the couch, tapping Aaron’s shoulder gently, flinching back as the blond quickly turned his head to look.

“Oh, it’s just you. What do you want?” Aaron asked, holding the water bottle tighter.

“What happened?” Neil asked, taking in the look of pain across the blonds face. 

“Andrew’s been pissy for the last few days and when I asked him what was up he just punched me. It fucking hurts. Should've just ripped my balls off it’d hurt less.” Aaron grumbled. “has he said anything to you?”

Neil shook his head solemnly, “I haven’t spoken to him in like five days.”

Aaron’s eyes widened, “really? That… makes a lot of sense.”

Neil cocked his head to the side in silent question.

“Well, he got pissy after you and him sparred, right? It’s unlikely you did anything wrong, but at the same time, there’s probably a reason he hasn’t spoken to you specifically. But you’d better still come to Eden’s with us tonight or you’ll set him off again.” Aaron let out a pained laugh, clutching his stomach again.

“I don’t get it. Why would Andrew not want to speak to me?” Neil asked. “I had a deal with him.”

Aaron’s eyes widened, “Oh, you poor sod. You’ve sold your soul. Guess he’s not talking to you for the same reason he barely ever talks to me.”

“Which is?”

“You’ve broken the deal.”

\-----

Neil couldn't get his mind to work for the rest o the day. He went to lectures, even with Amanda there to comfort him, he just couldn't settle down.

He had no idea what he’d done, how he could have possibly broken the deal he had with Andrew and it was stressing him out. Without Andrew, there was every chance that Kevin would rat him out and Riko would come running to drag him kicking and screaming back to Castle Evermore. Then his father wouldn’t be far behind.

Neil had to run. He had to getaway. He wouldn’t be safe here much longer.

He ended up at cheer practice, his chest feeling way too tight and his breathing way too fast, and suddenly his head felt light and fuzzy. He hadn’t even realised the Exy team were there to watch yet another practice until Matt was right in front of him, looking as concerned as he had been the first week they had known each other.

“Neil, are you okay? You look really out of… like you’re on the verge of a panic attack. Do you need to sit for a while?” Matt asked, making sure he kept his hands within Neil’s view and far away from his body so he didn’t begin to feel crowded by the Goliath that was Matt Boyd.

Neil shook his head, backing away. He needed Amanda and Katelyn, but they were still getting changed and he couldn’t just waltz into their changing room, despite how little any of the girls cared. It wasn’t like Neil had ever shown any interest in them, they probably all thought he was gay. 

“I’m fine. I need to speak to Andrew, though.” Neil bit out.

Matt’s eyes widened, but he nodded, “yeah, of course. He’s outside having a cigarette. I’ll cover you with the cheer squad.”

Neil nodded, a bright smile covering his face, setting Matt at ease.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, my son. No problem at all.”

Neil didn’t sprint. He absolutely did not, but when he managed to find Andrew in the parking lot and leaning against the sleek black GS he sure felt like he’d be running for years.

The blond simply regarded him with a bored glance, sucking in a lungful of smoke and then blowing it out – Neil noticed that Andrew had deliberately blown the smoke away from him.

“Josten. It’s been a while, and it isn’t time for Eden’s yet. What brings you out here? Did Dan send you to get me so I can watch your practice?” Andrew asked, turning back around to face the brunet. Neil noticed that his eyes were completely flat, as was his expression, Andrew was completely sober. 

Neil wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that.

He bit his lip, taking out his phone.

**Josten:** _r u mad at me???_

A brief look of shock covered Andrew’s face, but it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

“This is a particularly stupid assumption, Josten. Why would you think that? Is this why you look like you want to run for the hills?” Andrew huffed, taking another drag of the cigarette.

**Josten:** _well u just haven’t spoken to me since we sparred and then I was talking 2, Aaron and he said I must've broken my deal with u and I don’t get how could have done that so I wanted to ask._

Andrew scoffed, “wow, and here I was thinking you were intelligent. You haven’t done anything. I was just trying to figure out some things about myself that were getting troublesome. And don’t compare the situation with Aaron and I to the one between you and I. I’ll have to have a word with him, apparently, that punch wasn’t enough to get him to keep his mouth shut.” Andrew growled.

Neil blanched, his eyes widening in confusion. He still had no idea what the deal was with the twins, he hadn’t cared to ask since it had nothing to do with him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t extremely intrigued by it.

“Aaron made a conscious decision to break the promise he made by dating that Cheerleader. You are merely making me act in ways I never would do before. And he knows that he caught on and it pisses me off so much, so I told him to be quiet but no. He didn’t listen to me, not that that comes as much of a surprise.” Andrew ranted before he took a steadying breath.

“What?” Neil asked, clearing his throat afterwards. “I don’t understand.”

“He figured out that you interest me, Neil. And now he’s using it against me.” Andrew bit out, glaring at the floor as he dropped the cigarette butt and crushed it under his boot.

Neil was just about to keep talking, to assure Andree that that probably wasn’t the case and that the meds had made him misinterpret it, but Andrew just kept going.

“And so we had a huge falling out, you see. It was a long time coming, since I don’t hide it, but I thought he’d understand that I can't help it. But no, he just made me question if my past made me this way, which I tried so hard to avoid thinking about.” Andrew let out a bitter laugh. 

“I’m not following.”

Andrew sneered at him. “Oh, I know you aren’t, Neil, but I’m going to spell it out because I don’t want to accidentally become them. I’m gay, Neil. I’m gay and you’re damn attractive, and after we sparred I needed to sort myself out because this isn’t how it’s meant to go. I'm meant to protect you, and instead, I've put you in danger with Kevin because I wanted to spend more time with you. I’m letting my body rule over my head and I hate it. I hate myself. I hate you.”

Neil shook his head violently, taking a step closer so he was in Andrew’s line of sight but not close enough to touch him.

“You haven’t put me in danger. I don’t care about you being gay. You can’t help it, you’ve never done anything to make me uncomfortable, Andrew.” Neil told him, holding eye contact. “We can spend time together, I have no issue with that, so don’t feel like you’re forcing me to do anything.”

Andrew bristled.

Neil stood still before he took a step back just to be sure that he wasn’t making things worse.

“Fine. You can keep coming with us, and I will keep protecting you, but you have to promise me that you will say no to anything that makes you even remotely uncomfortable. You will not let me become them.”

Neil had no idea who they were, but he knew to just nod. It wasn’t like he was ever going to not tell Andrew when he was uncomfortable, hed even proved that the week before. If Andrew was this concerned over something, then there was no way Neil could just overlook it.

He wracked his brain for memories of the sparring session, trying to figure out if Andrew had reacted in any way that would have made him act this irrationally.

He came up empty. Neil had never noticed anything odd about the way Andrew had acted. He could only remember being pinned down on the mat, with Andrew’s hard body looming over…

_Oh._

“Andrew, I’m not sure what set you off, but I assure you, you didn’t do anything. I don’t know who they are, but I can tell you that you’re not doing anything to make yourself at like them.”

Andrew bristled.

“We’re done here. You need to go and train.” He huffed, walking past Neil and heading into the gym, with the brunette trailing behind him, his mind still a little numb from trying to process all the information he’d just had dumped on him.

When they entered again, Neil could feel everyone's eyes on him. Aaron’s glare was especially sharp. Neil wished he could just be swallowed up by the ground and disappear.


	12. Chapter 12

Andrew kept cursing himself for letting information slip, and for once he couldn’t just blame it on his medication. He hadn’t had a dose in two days, and he was feeling absolutely awful. His stomach was aching, he couldn’t keep any food down and he was becoming a lot more irrational than usual. He’d even gone and confessed his attraction to Neil and revealed his fears of becoming like Drake and Stephen and all the others.

He was ready for Colombia. He was ready to talk things over with Roland. He probably needed to stop hooking up with Roland, since his body was going haywire for Neil and everyone knew it. 

He made a point of not looking at the cheerleaders as they practised, instead focusing on his phone. He scrolled through an article he had to read for his next lecture, stopping periodically to highlight a sentence or two. He ignored the music, he ignored the cheers and shouting. He was determined to just ignore the whole world.

His head was pounding, he knew he should probably take a dose before he did something stupid. After all, he was meant to be drugged out of his mind because it supposedly made him less of a threat to himself and others.

So when he finally looked to Kevin, probably looking completely dead on his feet, the taller man was there instantly with two little white pills. Andrew took them quickly, leaning back in his seat and calmly regarding the cheerleaders as they finished up with their practice.

Neil had already left, the girls were busy putting the mats away, and the team was chatting happily with each other. 

“Wow, Neil is really something, isn’t he? Some of those moves, they were amazing.” Nicky laughed lightly. “I wish I could do flips like that.” 

Dan was nodding along, smiling widely, “he’s a sweetheart, helping all the others out with their moves. And he can throw them up in the air without even breaking a sweat! I bet he’d be strong enough to play Exy if he wanted to.” 

Kevin tensed up beside Andrew, his hands clenching into fists. 

“Calm down, Kevin. Keep it shut or you can head back to Riko.” Andrew hissed. “He already switched to our district before the year started, what makes you think he won't come to you if I leave?” It was a low blow, and the worst threat Andrew could have thought of.

It seemed to work because Kevin relaxed and let out a quiet sigh. On his other side, Aaron perked up as Neil reentered the room, which made Andrew bristle even more. He couldn’t believe hi sown twin had fed Neil such bullshit. He was the reason Andrew had spilt everything, and he had no idea what his weaker twin would have to gain from that.

So, as soon as they were back in the dorm room after dinner, with an hour to kill before Neil was due to arrive, the blond took his twin aside.

“What the fuck do you want? Don’t you have something better to do?” Aaron demanded, a frown on his face. He was supposed to be doing some chemistry work, work that had been stressing him out for at least a week, but that wasn’t going to stop Andrew. He was flying too high, his thoughts were going too fast for him to focus on anything else other than the matter at hand.

“Why the fuck did you tell Neil he’d broken our deal?” Andrew growled, his hands itching to get around his twin's neck. Oh, how he wanted to throttle that idiot. His dear brother who couldn’t seem to keep a promise and seemed determined to upset Neil after he found out Andrew was attracted to the brunette.

“Because I thought he had, you absolute twat!” Aaron snapped. “You didn’t speak to him for a damned week, Andrew. You do that to me as well, so excuse me for assuming.”

“Aaron, don’t you remember what Tilda told us? Assume makes an ass of u and me.” Andrew felt the smile twisting at his lips, and he didn’t do a thing to stop it as he watched anger cover Aaron’s face.

“Fuck you, Andrew. You think it’s funny, not letting me be happy with the girl I love? Tormenting her? Tormenting her friends, including Neil, who you seem to be so infatuated with. Fuck off. He’s an amazing guy, Andrew. He has never lifted a finger to hurt anyone, he doesn’t have an evil bone in his body, and you’re treating him like…. I don’t even know. You like him, but you won't talk to him. You come after me for liking Kate, and yet you go off with Roland all the time – oh yeah, don’t think I haven’t caught onto that one, dickhead – and now you seem to have some infatuation with Neil.”

Andrew didn’t even try to deny it. He hadn’t exactly hidden the fact he was gay from everyone, he just neglected to tell anyone who didn’t really need to know. Hed just left everything for people to figure out. It seemed that Aaron had figured everything out some time ago.

“You made a promise to me, that you wouldn’t get a girlfriend until we leave PSU, Aaron. You are breaking that promise, but I'm not sure if you’ve noticed that I have backed off from that situation since Neil and I made the deal. Anyway, I did not promise that I wouldn’t get a boyfriend, girlfriend, hookup whatever. You did, and that’s why I’m not happy about what you’re doing.” Andrew frowned.

“And now you’re going after the sweetest guy in existence.” Aaron scoffed.

“We have had a conversation, Aaron. He is aware of why I wasn’t talking to him, and he accepts that we have made up. I am not going to hurt him, and my deal with him comes before my attraction. You seem to forget that I am not Nicky, I keep my thoughts to myself.” Andrew growled. 

“Whatever.” Aaron rolled his eyes, “it’s not like you’ve ever done anything good for me, so why would it end up with you doing anything good for Neil. He needs to run before things go wrong.”

Andrew felt the fury burning up in his chest. How dare Aaron insinuate that Andrew had ever done anything good for him.

“Fuck you. I got you this scholarship, so you can study medicine and follow your dreams. I got you away from Tilda. I got you away from Drake. Fuck you, Aaron. Don’t even fucking bother coming to Eden’s, you can fucking stay here. Move in with Matt and Seth, I don’t care, but fuck you.” Andrew snapped, turning abruptly on his heel and making sure to slam the door as loud as possible. 

Nicky and Kevin were wise to stay out of his way, not even looking up out of fear, which Andrew was grateful for, he wasn’t sure what his face looked like at that moment.

He ended up on the roof before he knew it, staring down at the car park below him, feeling his heart rate spike. He’d always been afraid of heights, and yet he kept finding himself up here. It made him feel something, even through the haze of medication that he was so often subjected to. It as grounding.

He had to stay up there and calm down before he did something really stupid.

Aaron already knew about the situation with Drake, as did Nicky, since the heathen had tracked them to PSU the year before and started trying to reenact the past with the twins. Luckily, someone had reported it and now Andrew’s ex-foster brother was rotting in a prison somewhere, where many of the inhabitants knew he had a record of raping children. Last Andrew had heard, Drake had been in a critical condition.

_Good._

Sure, it had all but torn the three of them apart. Nicky because he was upset that Andrew had had to go through so much in his life, that they should have found him faster and rescued him from the system. Aaron was just upset because Andrew hadn’t told him straight away as soon as they’d met. Aaron had had a strange reaction to it, which was why Andrew had tried so hard to forget that anything had even happened. But Aaron’s ungrateful attitude brought everything to the surface, as always.

The blond as pulled out of his thoughts by his phone chiming with the sound he’d programmed Neil’s message alerts with.

**Josten:** _any reason that Aaron broke into our dorm and won't stop crying?_

Andrew huffed, dropping his phone to his side. Of course, Aaron had run off, gone crying to someone else because he couldn’t deal with how he was feeling, or maybe because he knew people would start to question what’d happened, and Andrew would be forced to backpedal. Of course, life had always hated him.

**Josten:** _r u okay?? Did u guys fight? He said he isn’t coming 2nite. I can bring u some ice cream if u want?_

Andrew sighed, his stomach let out a quiet growl. Ice-cream sounded good, it always made him feel a little better, especially if it was chocolate flavoured. He quickly sent a text back to Neil to tell him he could come up, then flopped onto his back.

It was going to be a long day.

~~

“Hey,” Neil whispered as he came through the door, holding a two-litre tub of chocolate icecream – Andrew noted that he’d never actually told Neil that he’d wanted chocolate, which made his mind whir back to life – and sat next to the blond. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m pissed off and feeling quite betrayed, but other than that I'm just fine, Neil.”

The brunet frowned, sending a text. _oh, okay. Wanna talk about it? It’s fine if you don’t, but I find that it helps, sometimes._

Andrew nodded, “I can talk to Bee. You have to see her as well, do you not?” Neil nodded with a small smile. “She’s good for our family drama, but right now I’m not really in the mood.”

Neil signed something, which Andrew didn’t know how to interpret, but he knew it wasn’t an insult or sarcastic by the expression on his face.

“Basically, Aaron said that I never do anything good for him. I don’t want to go into it, but I’ve done a hell of a lot for him, and I was pissed that he’d even forget half of it. I told him to move in with Matt and Seth because I don’t want to be around him if he's going to minimise my suffering so he can whine about not being able to date Katelyn because he promised me he wouldn’t have a girlfriend until we graduate.” Andrew seethed. “So yeah, I’m pissed. Sorry if that inconveniences you.” 

Neil shook his head quickly, quickly tapping out a response.

**Josten:** _no, that’s completely justified. Sounds like he's just ungrateful, maybe this push is what he needs to realise just how important you are to him, all you’ve done for him. You’re allowed to be pissed off if he’s being like that. He's upset, and he will be until you guys talk about it, but until then you are completely allowed to feel angry at him._

Andrew sighed, leaning back, looking up into Neil’s stunning blue eyes.

He didn’t say anything, just continuing to stare up at the younger man, watching his face carefully for any change of expression. There was none. Neil was remaining perfectly calm and collected, his expression was honest. 

There were only two other people in his life that looked at him with such pure honesty, Renee and Bee. Yet again, Neil was proving himself to be different from everybody else. Andrew wasn’t sure how he was meant to be reacting to this information.

He already trusted Neil – who he’d known for a matter of weeks – more than he trusted his own family, who he’d known for four years. Something about that was royally fucked up.

**Josten:** _you're spacing. Are you okay? Do you need to call Bee??_

Andrew let out a rough sigh, nodding. He really needed to talk to Bee, Neil was completely right about that one. If he didn’t, he was just going to self-destruct if he bottled this in.

Neil just nodded, backing away slowly.

**Josten:** _okay, I’ll leave you be then. See you tonight._

~~

After calling Bee and having an in-depth conversation about how ungrateful Aaron was before Bee agreed to let Andrew visit her on Sunday for a face-to-face, Andrew resigned himself to sitting on his beanbag and staring at the wall.

Nicky was concerned about him, walking on eggshells around the blond, while Kevin sat watching and Exy game and occasionally looking over at Andrew.

Aaron eventually came back into the dorm, looking sheepish, and packed an overnight bag. He was probably going to stay with his Cheerleader for the night, it wouldn’t surprise Andrew with his twin's track record of breaking promises, but he couldn't bring himself to argue any more. He was tired.

His twin didn’t apologise – they were both too stubborn for that – and just left without a word to any of his three roommates.

Nicky looked on the verge of tears, Kevin was too busy drooling over Jeremy Knox, and Andrew just fell asleep.

He awoke to Neil’s knock on the door, his body immediately on edge as Nicky opened the door, letting out a squeal when he saw Neil’s clothes.

Extremely tight black jeans that his absolutely nothing, a black shirt with mesh sleeves and some comfy black trainers. Neil’s neck was covered by what looked like a collar, and it was causing a lot of internal conflict in Andrew.

Next was Neil's face, and specifically his eyes, which were outlined by a thin line of black gel eyeliner. His eyes looked huge, and the blue was really popping.  
Andrew was really fucking gay.

Neil’s curls hung over his forehead, and Andrew was suddenly very, very gone.

“Awww, you look so cute, Neil! All that’s missing is a little hair glitter to make you look like a god under those lights. Trust me on this!” Nicky gushed. 

Neil shrugged before he spoke.

“I’m okay on glitter, but if you really want to do something with my hair, you can help me dye it?” Neil offered, pulling up his hair to show about a centimetre of auburn roots.

Andrew had a thing for redheads, he had known this for years.

_He was fucked._

“Aww, but your hair is such a nice colour!” Nicky sighed, gently reaching out to touch Neil’s hair. “Your hair’s a little straw-like as well, so it might be best to do a deep-condition first? I have stuff at the house, I can do it for you tomorrow?”

Andrew got to his feet, realising he hadn’t actually gotten changed and was still in his baggy sweats, but as soon as he moved Neil’s electric blue eyes snapped to meet his.

“I mean, that’s fine. I just really don’t like my natural hair.” Neil sighed.

“that’s fine with me, sweetpea.” Nicky smiled. “Do you want something to drink while we wait for Andrew to get changed?”

Neil nodded, doing the sign that Andrew had learnt meant water.

Nicky smiled, nodding.

Andrew headed into the bathroom first, determined to calm himself down before he even attempted to get his skinny jeans on.


	13. Chapter 13

Neil stayed with Andrew the entire night, not wanting to leave the blond alone because of how angry hed been earlier. They sat in comfortable silence, watching Kevin drinking shot after shot of vodka.

Andrew kept shifting gin his seat, Neil wasn’t sure if he was sitting too close to the blond so began to move away, but then Nicky came and sat next to him, suddenly his thigh was pressed right against the blonds.

Andrew tensed, but made no move to distance himself from Neil.

Nicky only stayed long enough to take another few shots before he dragged Kevin into the crowd, and Neil could breathe again. He moved away from the blond as fast as he could, watching the way Andrew was jostled after Neil’s weight shifted.

Neil caught the unmistakable bulge in the front of Andrew’s jeans. Andrew noticed him looking, and they made awkward eye contact for a few seconds before Neil flushed and turned his head away.

“Sorry.” Andrew bit out. 

Neil raised an eyebrow. He didn’t understand why the blond was apologising to him. He was the one who had invaded the blonds personal space, was he not? And it was a perfectly normal human reaction, so there was no reason for Andrew to be apologetic.

Mary was always mad at him whenever he got a hard-on, she said that it was weak, that it showed that he couldn’t control himself. Maybe Andrew had had a similar experience in his life.

“It’s fine.” Neil mouthed, catching the way Andrew’s eyes hardened.

“It isn’t. I'm meant to be looking out for you and instead, I’m getting hard.” Andrew huffed. 

Neil shrugged, “it’s a natural thing. Wanna take care of it?”

He cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, watching as cold fury filled Andrews' eyes.

“Are you offering?” 

Neil felt like he’d just run fifteen miles, his heart was going so fast and beating so hard that he could feel it in the back of his head. His breathing hitched in his chest. He had no experience in this department, only that one-time hed kissed a girl in Canada and gotten beaten for doing it. He hadn’t even seen a dick that wasn’t his own, he had no idea what he was meant to respond with.

Kissing wouldn’t be too bad, Neil supposed, but the one-time hed kissed before hadn’t felt all too good. Maye it would be different with Andrew? But Neil wasn’t sexually attracted to the blond.

At least he didn’t think so.

“I’ve never-“

“I was joking,” Andrew said flatly. 

“Oh,” Neil breathed, “okay. But you can still go and… yeah. I'll stay here.”

Andrew huffed. “May I kiss you? You do not have to say yes, I just want to see how it feels.”

Neil laughed, “I have no experience in that either, but it’s a yes.” 

Andrew’s eyes were smouldering, “come with me.”

~~

The alley was quiet and secluded, which was nice. Neil wasn’t sure how he felt about kissing in a crowded place, but now he was out here with Andrew he felt a lot better about the whole situation.

Just as long as it didn’t go any further than kissing, Neil was completely fine. He wasn’t feeling any form of panic about it, in fact, he actually kind of wanted to kiss Andrew.

They stopped, and Andrew gently manoeuvred Neil to stand against the wall, just a little bit away from the back door of the club.

“Is it still a yes?” Andrew asked, to which Neil nodded in reply. He wondered if it would be enough to convince Andrew, but the way the blond nodded slowly put his mind at ease. “you can say no at any time, and you can pull away from me of you can’t get your words out.”

Neil nodded again.

“Hands behind your back, do not touch me or this will stop. I will only be kissing you, nothing more, and afterwards, you will go back to the table and leave me here.”

Neil nodded again, quickly tucking his hands behind his back and leaning onto them so he wasn’t tempted to touch the blond. He noticed the wall was sticky, cringing internally as his mind began to whir with what the substance could be. He immediately shook it off, giving Andrew a soft smile as the blond gently pulled his chin down so he could kiss Neil.

The kiss itself was nothing like what he’d expected. Instead of rough and demanding and pulling Neil’s breath right out of his lungs, the kiss was gentle and tender. Andrew’s lips were warm and soft, moving against his own carefully like he was scared of hurting Neil.

Neil let out a small sound, tilting his head to the side out of pure instinct, opening his mouth against Andrew’s. The blond responded almost instantly, opening his mouth as well and running his tongue along Neil’s bottom lip. The blond bit down slightly, before sliding his tongue into Neil’s waiting mouth.

Neil began to wring his fingers behind his back, smiling widely against Andrew’s mouth.

He decided that he liked it. His whole body was tingling, his hands beginning to get clammy and his belly beginning to spark with heat. His cock wasn’t taking an interest, though, which he was glad for since he just wanted to enjoy the kissing while he could.

Andrew pulled away, breathing raggedly, “can I touch your neck, over the collar?”

Neil nodded, his chest heaving and breathing coming out just as ragged as Andrew’s was. His head was buzzing, he loved the feeling. This wasn’t anything like that girl in Canada, this was nice. This was real. He wasn’t forcing himself to do it, this felt natural like he was made to be doing this. Like he was made to kiss Andrew. 

He let his eyes slip shut, relaxing as Andrew continued his crusade, their tongues twining together in a kiss that was entirely too messy, but it was nice. It felt good.

_It felt right._

It felt like an eternity later when Andrew pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting his mouth to Neil’s.

Neil felt his breath catching in his throat as his eyes met Andrew’s. the molten gold orbs stared back at him, completely blank but at the same time so full of emotion. Neil was floored.

“That was nice,” Neil said, wanting to break the tension that was building. 

Andrew huffed, “whatever, Junkie. Go back inside.” 

Neil nodded quickly, scrambling for the back door and entering the club again, feeling the vibrations from the speakers almost instantly. 

He decided to take a quick trip to the bathroom to regain his composure.

~~

He managed to stay undetected in the bathroom for a good fifteen minuted before the door was flung open and a very panicked and oddly sober-looking Kevin entered the dank room. His green eyes were wide with panic and he looked like he was about to go into shock.

“Neil, oh my god, we have to leave! I just saw Riko! He's here. Andrew’s taking care of it, getting the bouncers in to remove him and they’ll listen because the cousins used to work here, but we have to leave. He already saw me but if he recognises you as well, we’re both gonna die!” Kevin spouted, his entire form shaking with fear as Neil's body went cold.

The rat bastard was there, in the club, probably within ten metres of him. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t afford to be found out, he couldn’t afford to be even seen with Kevin at that moment, or he’d be back in Baltimore before he could even get a word out.

Nicky crashed into the bathroom behind Kevin, looking even more panicked.

“Neil, Kevin, come with me. We need to go out the back, okay? I think Jean is out there too, so we need to be careful. Staff door. Heads down, walk quickly. Andrew will meet us at the car.”

Kevin nodded quickly, reaching out to grab Neil’s hand and pull the shorter man behind him, back into the writhing mass of bodies that were outside the room. Neil ducked his head, hoping to god that Jean wasn’t anywhere close, not that the French man would recognise him. 

He let himself be pulled around by Kevin, who in turn was being pulled by Nicky until they were out of the club in the same alley he’d been in with Andrew earlier. They kept going, walking for a good five minutes before they reached and underground car park, and Kevin practically melted into the tarmac when he saw Andrew’s black GS in between the rows of cars.

“Oh my God, we made it. We’re alive! Riko didn’t drag me back to Evermore, and he didn’t even see you. I just hope Andrew didn’t make him angrier, if he's bold enough to come here then he’s probably going to turn up to Palmetto as well.” Kevin babbled.

“Kevin, Andrew promised to keep both of you safe. He just told the bouncers to remove Riko because he knew he was there to shake you up. It’ll be fine. Look, there he is now.” Nicky smiled, relief washing over his face.

Sure enough, Andrew had entered the car park, a frown etched onto his face as he marched towards the car.

“Get in. We will be going back to the house, no buts.” Andrew huffed, climbing behind the wheel and waiting for the others to get in and buckle up. “They kicked him out, they’re looking for Jean, and I made it clear I’d string him up by the balls if he came anywhere near you again before our match.” 

Kevin opened his mouth to speak, but a glare from the blond shut him up instantly.

“He did this to shake you up. Don’t be a coward, then he will have already won. And Neil, I don’t think he saw you but he said something about a Nathaniel.” 

Neil’s blood froze, Nicky froze up to and began to gently pull the shorter man into a tight hug.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Neil admitted, his chest burning with something else. The pleasure had been replaced with that pathological need to run and never look back. He was so dead. He had a month left maximum. If Riko knew he was somehow involved with Kevin, Nathan would be there not too long after. 

He should probably call Uncle Stuart. He’d be able to help. There was no way Andrew could deal with this himself, and Neil wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he let the blond go on a suicide mission to help him.

He pulled out his phone, preparing himself for the call. 

~~

“Nathaniel?” Stuart’s thick British accent came through the receiver, sounding tired and thick from sleep. “What’s happening? Is Mary alright?”

Neil was stood in the kitchen of the Columbia house, watching as Nick tried to calm down a very disgruntled Kevin, and a very pissed off Andrew watching him like a hawk.

“Uncle Stuart, I think Nathan might be coming for me soon.” Neil cursed the fact that his voice was so wrecked, he couldn’t remember if Stuart even knew about his throat.

Stuart’s swearing wasn’t putting him at ease. He wished that Andrew was closer, giving him a secure base to lean on and calm him. The blond kept his distance.

“Nathaniel? Christ boy, what happened to your voice? Where’s Mary? What’s going on?”

His voice was getting a lot louder now, Neil had to hold the phone away from his face to save his ears the pain.

“She’s dead. She died a year ago. I’m at Palmetto State University, Riko Moriyama knows I’m here, I think, and we both know that means Nathan will find out too. I can deal with Moriyama, but we both know Nathan will kill me before I can even blink. Lola tried to carve my vocal cords out a few years ago, that’s why my voice is fucked.” Neil explained, trying his best to not look at the others. 

Andrew’s gaze which had regarded him with such desire only an hour ago was now looking at him in the same way he had when he’d cornered him on campus. Kevin’s look of pure, unadulterated fear. Nicky’s tear-filled eyes that held enough panic to last a lifetime. Neil couldn’t handle it.

“Fucks sake. I can be there in a day, my men can sort your father out, and I'll make sure the bitch pays for doing that for you. Until I call you and tell you its okay, I want you to lay low, hideout.” Stuart demanded. “I know it bust be frightening for you, but I promise you I will do my best to sort this out as fast as I can.”

“Okay. I think I might be able to stay with friends over the weekend, but I have t go back to college on Monday.” Neil told his uncle.

“If you can stay, that’s great. Hopefully, I should be able to sort things out quickly enough that you won't have to worry about going back. I have a few men out in the U.S right now, ill see if I can mobilise them.” Stuart told him, before shouting to some other people, probably his bodyguards.

“Okay. Thank you, Uncle Stuart.”

“Its no bother, Nathaniel. Just remember that you can call me whenever you need help.”

Neil had no time to answer before his uncle hung up, and he was left in the painful silence of the house.

Andrew was the first to speak, “you didn’t need to call him. I have this covered.”

Neil shook his head quickly, taking a swig of water and trying to ease the pain in his throat before he tried to explain things to Andrew.

“I don’t doubt that you do, but that was the best way to solve this, Andrew. You focus on keeping Kevin safe, but I need to focus on myself. I have two crime families after me, and my uncle is part of another. He can get rid of my dad and his men, he knows how to clear things up, and the FBI have been wanting to make a move on Nathan for years, they won’t complain if another crime lord just… offed him. Trust me, Andrew, you may be able to deal with Riko, but I don’t want you to risk your life going against my father. You won’t win. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.” Neil sighed, looking away from the blond.

Andrew just let out a sigh, “if you want to go about it this way, then that’s fine, I won't stop you. Just remember that I promised to protect you, and I won't just back off. I will still protect you, whatever it takes because I promised I would.”

Neil nodded slowly, his heart let out a few struggled beats as he looked back up to the blond, meeting those beautiful molten gold eyes.

“It’s been a long day, hasn’t it. I lot has happened, maybe we should just wind down for a while. Go to sleep? I can take the couch.” Neil said, a yawn following shortly afterwards. He was exhausted.

He had no idea how things had gone from Aaron being a complete bitch, Andrew telling him everything, Aaron being an even bigger bitch and Andrew kissing Neil to having Riko finding them and Neil being forced to call his uncle – all in the space of 24 hours.

Neil’s life never ceased to be a mess, it seemed.

“You can take Aaron’s room, just don’t move any of his stuff.” Andrew huffed. “Or you can stay in here, we can move his mattress in here if that would make you feel more comfortable. Just don’t move around too much, and don’t try to wake me up.” 

Neil was flawed for a second, blinking slowly at the blond while his brain soaked in the information. Honestly, he was perfectly fine with sleeping in Aaron’s room, but he would feel a little more at ease if he was with Andrew. He knew Andrew wouldn’t break his promise, that he’d keep both Neil and Kevin safe.

He also knew that Andrew would never try to hurt him.

“Can I sleep in here?”

~~

After they managed to pull Aaron’s mattress – Neil noticed it was only a single compared to Andrew’s massive one – Neil got under the covers and snuggled up.

He fell asleep almost instantly to the sound of Andrew's steady breathing and the occasional sound of a book page-turning.

He was woken a few hours after when Andrew got up to walk into the bathroom. Neil could see the hunch in the older man's shoulders, taught with stress and guessed that the blond probably hadn't gone to sleep at all.

Neil sat up, suddenly concerned for Andrew’s wellbeing. If the blond wasn’t sleeping, then Neil wanted to make sure he knew why and maybe even help Andrew get to sleep.

The blond didn’t emerge after a few minutes, and Neil couldn’t hear any movement from within the room, so worry began to eat at Neil’s insides. He began to slowly move towards the door, listening carefully for any sign that Andrew might be upset, any sign that Neil should stay away.

Upon hearing nothing, Neil knocked on the door gently, hearing the rustling of clothes. Andrew’s voice came shortly after, sounding extremely tired.

“What?”

Neil swallowed, his throat aching. There was no way Andrew had his phone with him, and Neil was pretty sure his phone was dead anyway, so he guessed he would have to speak.

Andrew ripped open the door, his eyes blazing and cheeks heavily flushed pink. His breathing seemed a little laboured as well, so Neil almost automatically realized what he’d just interrupted.

Neil felt his cheeks flush as well, quickly looking down at the floor, his eyes briefly skimming over Andrew’s exposed forearms before fixing sternly on the carpet.

“What happened? Is it Kevin?” Andrew demanded, taking an aggressive step forward.

Neil panicked, shaking his head, “I was just worried that you weren’t sleeping. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

Andrew scoffed, “stop trying to be a martyr. I will be fine. I find it hard to sleep when I’m thinking, so here I am, still awake, and trying to stop myself thinking.” 

It was then that Neil noticed the tent in the front of Andrew’s sweats, immediately averting his attention back to the floor.

“Sorry.” Neil swallowed again. “I’ll just… go to the kitchen, I guess?” 

He turned on his heel, beginning to walk away when Andrew reached out and seized his wrist in a vice-like grip.

“Neil,” Andrew said it flatly, but Neil could hear the plea in his voice. The brunette whipped his head around, meeting Andrew’s eyes yet again.

“Yes?”

“I want to kiss you again, yes or no?” Andrew asked, his fingers flexing around Neil’s slim wrist.

Neil turned fully to the blond, nodding slowly.

Andrew was on him in less than a second, his burning hot lips pressed up against him yet again, pushing against him until the back of his feet hit the mattress on the floor. Neil wobbled a little, but Andrew’s arm wrapped around his waist quickly to prevent him from falling, pulling Neil towards him until their bodies were flush against each other. Neil made no move to touch Andrew, knowing that doing that would stop this immediately.

Instead, he just let Andrew kiss him passionately, smiling slightly as Andrew’s tongue brushed against his lips, silently asking for entry – Neil granted it enthusiastically. 

He could feel Andrew’s hardness against his leg, but the blond made no move to grind his hips, something which Neil found very strange.

Maybe he should offer it to Andrew? Maybe the blond was just being respectful. Besides, Neil didn’t see an issue with it. sure, he didn’t want to do anything sexual, but it seemed unfair to make Andrew not do anything when he was so hard.

Neil shook the thoughts from his head, tilting his head to the side to give Andrew better access.

“Hey, Andrew, I want to kiss your neck. Can I?” Neil asked quietly, feeling Andrew’s breath catching right next to his ear.

“Yes,” Andrew sighed, his grip on Neil loosening to urge the taller man on. Neil happily obliged, ducking his head and brushing his lips over the soft skin of Andrew’s neck.

The shorter man let out a shuddering breath as Neil kissed at his neck, right over his jugular, sucking gently. Andrew gave a full-body shudder, tilting his head back so Neil could explore his neck more thoroughly. 

Neil kept going, seeing no signs from the blond that he should stop, making sure to keep his touches light – especially since Andrew’s grip on him was beginning to get looser and looser.

It felt like it had been ten minutes before Andrew moved again, just a tiny thrust of his hips against Neil’s thigh.

Andrew suddenly seized up and pushed Neil away like he’d been burned, his face red but eyes blazing with anger.

“Why didn’t you say no?” Andrew demanded, his breathing ragged. “I fucking ground on you and you didn’t even-“

“I didn’t say no because it was a yes, Andrew,” Neil told him, backing away, trying instantly to get his mind to work and make Andrew realise that he’d wanted it. “I wanted to kiss your neck, I wanted to make you feel good. It wasn’t a no at any point, and I promised I would tell you if it was a no, did I not?”

Andrew let out a sound that could only be described as a growl, reaching back out to the taller man. Neil caught sight of rows and rows of little white scars covering Andrew's forearms but wisely didn’t say anything.

“It was a yes, Andrew. If it makes you uncomfortable, then I can leave, but not before you realise that at no point did I want you to stop.”

Andrew chewed on that for a few seconds, before letting out a ragged sigh.

“Get out.”

Neil was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally have the motivation to finish this and here is the next chapter

Andrew was ready to putt his fist through a wall.

The universe hated him, he was sure of it. Why else would so much shit happen within the space of 24 hours?

Honestly, Andrew was ready to start smashing in some heads.

Aaron for being the absolute most ungrateful shit to ever exist and almost taking Neil away from his twin. Riko for turning up at Eden’s and immediately going to using scare tactics against Kevin and Nicky, even bringing Jean Moreau with him in the hopes the French man would be able to convince Kevin to go back to that absolute hell hole. Kevin for interrupting him in the middle of getting off, which while was completely understandable was making Andrew pissed off to no end since he’d been blue-balled for the first time…. Ever.

Neil for making his body react in ways they never normally did. Neil for making him get hard in public. Neil for getting him so worked up that he’d asked the brunette to kiss him. Neil for interrupting him the second time that night he’d tried to get off and blue-balling him yet again.

For not pushing him away when Andrew acted without permission. Even if it was a yes, Neil should still have stopped him, since he hadn’t agreed to it.

Andrew felt sick.

He needed to calm down and get his body back under control. He was becoming too much like them for his liking, he had almost forced Neil into doing something he hadn’t consented to.

_Wrong, wrong wrong._

He cursed himself for getting turned on by Neil Josten of all people. A runaway, someone who was probably going to scatter now there was a chance Riko knew where he was. Who was involved with no less than three different crime families, maybe even more? Neil Josten who hid both his natural eyes and natural hair, but now he was beginning to show off both of them and it got Andrew even hotter under the collar.

Neil Josten who had probably just seen Andrew's exposed scars. Andrew cursed himself again, how could he have been so stupid? Now the Junkie had seen his scars, what made him weak, in a time when he already looked weak.

Andrew couldn’t handle this. _What was he meant to do now?___

He decided to just stay on his bed for a while and do that deep breathing technique Bee taught him until he had calmed down. It worked pretty well, his erection eventually went down and he could think straight again. 

The only downside was that now his body was beginning to realise he hadn’t taken his dose in a while, the withdrawal started to kick in. 

Andrew decided that the universe most certainly hated him. 

He ended up crouched over the toilet, throwing up what little was left in his stomach and wishing he wasn’t attracted to Neil Josten. 

_ _~~_ _

It was 5 am when Neil reentered the bedroom nervously, approaching the bathroom slowly. Andrew heard him coming but was too busy trying not to throw up bile again to tell him to back off. 

He didn’t notice anything Neil did, or if he said anything, but found a glass of water next to him. 

_ _ _Stupid Junkie._ _ _

Andrew gulped down the water gratefully, feeling the pain in his throat easing and his stomach beginning to settle just a little. 

Andrew let out a relieved sigh, leaning back against the edge of the shower cubicle, looking over to Neil blearily. 

He was crouched a good distance from Andrew, a small but concerned grimace on his face. He held the bottle of Andrew’s pills tightly, obviously not sure if he should give them to the blond. 

“I don’t want them, they make it hard to sleep.” Andrew huffed, feeling the bile rising in his throat again, and he hiccupped. 

Neil just grimaced further, pulling out another bottle of pills. 

“These will settle your stomach,” Neil told him, his voice barely there at all. Andrew winced, the brunette must be in so much pain. How had he never realised how much Neil must be hurting? He felt like such a bad person, but then again, he’d felt that way since he was seven and being pinned- 

_ _ _No._ _ _

He must have spaced again because suddenly he was shocked out of it by Neil tapping on the side of the toilet gently. 

“Andrew, what’s wrong? If it's about earlier-“ 

_ _“Stop talking!” Andrew snapped. “stop talking if it's causing you so much pain, you idiot. Stop worrying about me.”_ _

_ _Neil frowned, shaking his head and pulling out his phone. Andrew was about to snap at him again, tell him that there was no point texting him since his phone was still on his bedside table, but then a robotic voice started blaring from the speakers, echoing off the walls of the bathroom._ _

_ _ **“You’re beating yourself up over what happened earlier. I don’t know why it freaked you out so much, but I can make a solid guess, but let me tell you that what you did was a perfectly natural reaction to arousal. I would have pushed you away if I didn’t want you to do it. its too easy to beat yourself up over that, and its been a very long day, so don’t beat yourself up. If you need to get off, that’s fine, I'm sorry for interrupting you.”** Neil smiled softly as the text-to-speech spoke for him.** **__

****

****

_ _ Andrew said nothing as Neil began to type out the next part of what he had to say. _ _

_ _ ** ****“I can see how rough things are for you right now. I want you to rest, get at least six hours of sleep. Thank you so much for protecting us, but you and I both know that you can't do that if you’re exhausted. I can go outside if that makes it easier for you, but not until I know you’re okay. The tablets will settle your stomach, and you can take your dose if that will make things easier for you.”** ** ** _ _

_ _ Andrew groaned, his stomach roiling again now that the water had settled. He felt so ill. The withdrawals from his meds were something else, he wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to get to sleep unless he took another dose. He was sure his arousal was gone for the night, too. That was a pretty good thing. _ _

_ _ “I’ll take a dose, but it’ll make it hard for me to sleep.” Andrew agreed, reaching for the bottle. “Nicky can drive us back tomorrow, I’ll sleep in the car, I’ll try to sleep after I… stop throwing up everywhere.” Andrew refused to let himself flush at that, never before had he shown so much weakness to somebody like this. “Come back in about ten minutes.” _ _

_ _ Neil smiled and nodded, quickly exiting the bathroom. _ _

_ _ ** **~~** ** _ _

_ _ Andrew woke up early in the afternoon, his head pounding and mouth tasting like death. The sun was bright, it burned his eyes so he had to clamp them shut again, letting out a loud groan. _ _

Rolling over, Andrew pushed himself up onto his knees and let out a sigh. His shoulders felt a little tense, but once he had stretched out a little he felt a lot better. Very hungry, yes. Still very horny, yes indeed. But he felt so much more together than he had done the night before. 

Neil was nowhere to be seen, which the blond decided was a very good thing. It meant he could get a shower, get off, and get ready all in relative peace. 

He was up and in the bathroom within a minute, stripping off quickly and jumping under the warm spray. 

It felt so fucking good. The warm water beat down on his tired muscles, relaxing him and making him so, so ready to finally get off. 

His mind flashed back to him kissing Neil in the alley, to him kissing Neil when they got back to his bedroom. He remembered the feeling on Neil's soft lips against his, shy and gentle like the taller man wasn’t exactly sure what he was meant to be doing. 

Inexperienced. Something about that was making Andrew even more attracted to him. 

Neils lips on his neck, sucking gently on the pale skin there and making bolts of pleasure rush through Andrews entire body. Lighting his body on fire in a good way. 

Andrew had never known he had a neck fetish, and he wasn’t sure how he should process this new information, but damn, it had felt so good. Neil made him feel so good. 

Andrew drew in a shaky breath and reached downwards, feeling a rush of pleasure going through him as he gently stroked himself. 

After being disturbed twice, Andrew wasn’t about to hang about, so he got straight to it. he stroked rough and fast, letting his head fall back against the tiles. 

He wished it was Neil’s hand. Maybe Neil’s thigh. 

_ _ _Oh god, his thigh._ _ _

Neil’s thighs were godlike. They were leanly muscled and felt so strong and so firm. It had felt so good when he ground on Neil- 

_ _ _No. Don’t think about that._ _ _

Andrew bit his lip, letting his mind wander a little. He imagined all the stuff he’d don with guys in Juvie, all the stuff he’d done with Roland, but with Neil instead. He imagined how it would feel to have his cock in Neil’s mouth, imagined how warm and amazing it would feel. 

Would Neil be good at giving head? Would he be surprisingly good at it? Andrew hoped so. 

Honestly, after the whole kissing thing, Andrew was beginning to think he was in with a chance of getting with Neil. He wasn’t going to get his hopes up, but damn was he excited. 

His body felt amazing, he hadn’t felt this… nice in a while. 

He didn’t last long at all, the image of a naked Neil underneath him, Neil crying out as Andrew plunged into him, begging for more, it was too much. Andrew spilt over his hand, the relief washing over him. Finally. 

Slumping against the tikes until his breathing steadied, Andrew couldn’t help smiling to himself. 

Now, he felt like he could face the day. 

_ _ ** **~~** ** _ _

Kevin was still a nervous wreck, watching out of the window like a hawk, and Nicky was obviously on edge as well. Neil was long gone, it seemed, but he hadn’t gone for a run. Andrew wondered where the taller man might have gone to. 

“Ah, Neil’s in the upstairs bathroom having a crisis about his hair. He doesn’t like red, and I was waiting until you were up before I went to the store to buy him some dye.” Nicky explained. “Pity, his hair is very nice, I know people who would kill for a hair colour like that. But I suppose… if Riko could tell who he was by his hair, then I completely get why Neil wants it dyed.” 

“Don’t leave the house, Nicky, not without me. We all go together or we don’t go at all. I can't let any of you go alone, there's no way I can protect you all if we get separated.” Andrew breathed in deeply, realising the person he should be most worried about was still in Palmetto. “Aaron.” 

Andrew was conflicted yet again, this piece of stress would never leave his body, not as long as he was alive. Despite everything, he was still worried about Aaron, his twin, his other half. The guy he shared 100% of his DNA with. 

_ _ _That asshole._ _ _

“He’ll be fine, Andrew. He fell out with you, remember? He thinks he can handle life without you, but we both know he can’t. Just leave him for now, I doubt Riko would make a move on our college, he’s not that stupid.” Nicky frowned. “Aaron will come crawling back on his own, and you know he will, so don’t feel like you have to go back for him because of the Rat.” 

Andrew blinked slowly. For once, his cousin was right. Andrew going back would just make Aaron think he could get away with that shit again, and the older twin was not going to allow that. Aaron could fend for himself until the more pressing issue was sorted out. Neil, Kevin and Nicky came first. 

“Then we go out and buy the dye. Or we could do it a different colour?” Andrew suggested, casually slipping a piece of toast off Kevin’s plate while he wasn’t looking. 

Neil re-entered the room at that moment, his hair pinned back so the beautiful red roots were showing. Damn, Nicky was right, that was a nice colour. It looked amazing in contrast to those pretty blue eyes and the tanned skin. If only Neil wanted to grow out his hair, let the natural colour return. Andrew would love to see that. 

“Neil! Just in time. We’re going to go out and buy the dye, so we were wondering if you want the same colour or a new one?” Nicky asked, rolling his eyes as Kevin began to take rushed steps towards Neil, pulling the smaller man into a tight hug. 

Neil frowned, pulling himself out of Kevin’s grip. 

“Same colour. It’d raise too many red flags for Riko if I changed my hair colour, it’d be me proving I’m Nathaniel.” Neil shrugged. 

Kevin nodded as well, standing up as straight as possible, no doubt in an attempt to make himself look less scared. 

“Yeah, if he dies his hair now it’ll just make Riko sure. I know Riko better than all of us here, he probably already knows who Neil is and is just waiting for proof, waiting for a slip-up. Riko doesn’t play games, as soon as he’s sure, all Hell will break loose.” 

Neil’s eyes flooded with fear for a split second before he reigned in the emotions, his expression going carefully blank in a way Andrew was all too familiar with. 

Andrew decided that he didn’t like this look on Neil. He was feeling the odd urge to protect him at all costs. 

The blond knew he was well and truly whipped for Neil Josten. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning that Andrew talks about his past here.

Even after he had his hair re-dyed, Neil was still on edge until Stuart called on Sunday afternoon. 

He’d told Neil that everything was going to be fine, he’d had some of his men take Nathan out and it’d be on the news by Monday morning, but they’d cleared it all up well enough to make it look like a suicide. They’d done the same to the majority of Nathan’s inner circle.

_Except for Lola._

They hadn’t managed to find Lola yet, but Stuart had dedicated a good chunk of his total manpower into finding her and making her pay for carving Neil’s throat. Neil hoped they found her soon since she was the one he’d been most scared of after his father. Lola never rested until she got what she wanted, and it was clear to Neil that she wanted him dead.

Even so, Neil couldn't help the sigh of relief when Stuart told him the news. He also couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes and the choked sobs he let out after hanging up, dropping his phone on the sofa and then curling up into a ball.

Kevin cried with him, relieved that now some of the things Riko could do to the shorter man were out of the way.

Nicky cried with them relieved that Neil seemed to be out of the woods by now.

Andrew didn’t cry, didn’t even bat an eye, but Neil hadn’t expected him to. Instead, Andrew just went back to figuring out how best to keep Riko at bay and stop the rat from figuring out for sure who Neil was.

They stayed in Columbia for a few more hours after that, before they drove back to Palmetto.

This time, Neil got to ride in the front with Andrew, which he honestly felt very honoured about. Kevin always got the front, it wasn’t even contested, so Neil knew he’d done something to get into the blonds good books.

He stayed awake the whole time, even after Kevin and Nicky had fallen asleep in the back – the two of them must have been exhausted – enjoying the comfortable silence he had with Andrew. It was nice, the sound of the GS engine as Andrew accelerated on the highway and watching the lights rushing past them. Neil enjoyed this. He’d never been able to enjoy the silence in a car before. His mother was always shouting at him, telling him what to do, or they were in a car chase. 

Andrew felt a lot safer.

When they were about halfway back to campus, Andrew finally spoke up, his voice rough and gravelly.

“Your father is dead?” 

Neil nodded, not even turning his head to look at the blond, instead mesmerised by the view out of the windscreen.

“Are you happy?”

Neil nodded again, allowing a small smile to touch his lips. He was glad Nathan was dead. The Moriyamas may have been formidable, but they didn’t pose a threat to Neil’s life, whereas Nathan did. Now that the Butcher was dead, Neil was a lot safer, and the Moriyamas would have to find somebody new to clean up their rivals. It bought Neil time.

“But there’s still one of them left, isn’t there? The one who did that to your throat?”

Another nod.

Andrew’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, “I’ll kill her.”

Neil jolted a little, his head turning so he could regard the blond more closely.

“I know you don’t want me to endanger myself or whatever, but you made a deal with me. That means you’re mine, and I protect what’s mine.” Andrew gritted his teeth. “Same as Kevin and Nicky, I will do everything in my power to protect them.”

Neil blinked before nodding again.

“You will tell me if you see her, Riko or anybody you deem a threat, okay?”

A nod.

Andrew let out a quiet sigh, “good.” He paused for a few minuted before he spoke up again. “Also, I know you saw my scars. I appreciate that you didn’t bring it up, and I’d also appreciate if you just never mentioned it to anyone.”

Neil finally spoke.

“It’s fine, I know how it feels. I have a lot more scars than just these.” He gestured to his neck.

He saw Andrew’s shoulders tense a little, and what appeared to be a shudder ran down the man's spine.

“I know. I haven’t seen them, but I guessed. People with a life like yours are bound to have more than a few.”

Neil let out a bitter scoff. If Andrew had any idea just how many scars Neil had, he probably wouldn’t have said that. Neil had stopped counting at the fifteenth scar he’d received.

“If you only knew,” Neil muttered quietly, not intending for the blond to hear. However, he could tell by the way Andrew flexed his fingers of the steering wheel that he had heard it.

“Then show me them. I’ll trade you my story for your scars. For each scar you let me see, I’ll tell you a bit more about my life.” Andrew said in a completely dead tone. “You can still say no, but the offer will always be there.”

Neil chewed his lip, turning his head away so he could think about it without seeing the blond.

It sounded like a pretty good offer on the surface. Despite Andrew knowing all of Neil’s life story, Neil was completely in the dark about him. All he knew was Andrew had self-harmed in the past, and it made him quite upset to know that something terrible must have happened to push him to that point. He was curious, though, he couldn’t deny that.

He must have been silent for too long because Andrew let out a rough sigh.

“No answer means no, Neil. That’s an important thing to live by.” 

Neil nodded dumbly, agreeing with the statement. Consent was an important thing, something that Mary had drilled into his head at a young age.

Don’t let anyone force you into anything you don’t want to do, Abram. If you don’t want to kiss, don’t. if you don’t want to cuddle, don’t. 

Neil only wished he’d been able to say no to everything. Like the knife lessons, or Lola forcing him to spar with her. He’d probably have had a lot fewer scars on his body if his no meant no in those cases. Instead, in those cases, saying no only made things worse.

_Life was shit._

Neil wondered if Andrew had had similar experiences. Probably, otherwise, he wouldn’t be a Fox.

“I’ll do it, but I sort of have to take my shirt off to show you them, and then you’ll see all of them,” Neil whispered.

“That’s fine, you can give me them on credit. Don’t forget, we can stop at any time.”

Neil nodded again.

~~

He was surprised to find Aaron still in his dorm, hunched over the table and neck-deep in studying, while Katelyn and Amanda were cooking their famous bean chilli.

Amanda noticed him first, letting out a gasp and running towards him, scooping him up in an almost bone-crushing hug. Katelyn turned around shortly afterwards, her eyes widening when she saw his newly dyed hair and the redness in his eyes that hadn’t quite disappeared from his crying episode less than half an hour before when the relief hit him again.

Neil was even more surprised when she began signing.

_Are you okay? Did you manage to get everything sorted out with your uncle?_ Katelyn signed slowly and unsurely, but the fact she’d made the effort made Neil’s insides burn with pride.

_Yes._ He signed back. He felt a little bad about not explaining the whole thing to them, still. But all they had to know was that there’d been an issue at home with his uncle, and that’s why they hadn’t come back to Palmetto on Saturday.

_Good._ Amanda signed. _We were worried about you, you always say you’re fine when you aren’t. Did Andrew take care of you?_

Neil felt his face flush involuntarily, and the girls’ eyes widened. A smug smile crossed Amanda’s face, while Katelyn’s was a cross between scared and scheming.

_Spill the tea._ Amanda signed with a grin. _How does he kiss? Does he taste like cigarettes? Did he take charge or did you?_

_Leave him._ Katelyn signed to Amanda with a hard look in her eyes. _You don’t have to tell us anything, we know you’re a private person._

Neil took a few seconds to regard his two friends, frowning at them a bit. He wasn’t even mad that Amanda had asked, or the fact that he’d blushed so easily and given away the fact he and Andrew had done something. No, he was just shocked that they seemed to have vastly improved their ASL in the short time he was gone.

_How did you learn so much while I was away?_ He asked, raising an eyebrow when they both giggled.

_Renee gave us a longer lesson so we could be on par with you! Katelyn smiled. Between that and making sure Aaron doesn’t fall into the pit of self-loathing, we’ve been pretty busy._

Neil cast a curious glance over to Aaron, who was still working hard to solve what looked like chemistry equations.

Neil knew that chemistry was the subject to take if you hated yourself, so he guessed and Aaron was already pretty far into the pit. Luckily, Katelyn was pretty good at making sure you didn’t fall even further.

Neil was glad to have the girls in his life. They were his first real friends, and the fact that they had gone out of their way to learn ASL while he was gone – on top of looking out for Aaron as well – it made Neil feel so special. He’d never felt so valued before.

It must've shown on his face, because suddenly both girls were hugging him tightly, holding him together.

“we’re so glad you’re okay, Sweetie. If you ever need to talk, you know where we are.” Amanda whispered into the crook of his neck, her breath tickling the sensitive skin there.

Neil nodded slowly as the two of them began to pull away, walking back over to the stove where they were making the bean chilli. Aaron looked up at him, before hurriedly looking back down at his work, a light blush covering his cheeks.

Neil was confused, but he said nothing, just heading into the bathroom for a well-deserved shower.

~~

It was the next cheer practice on Monday evening when the Foxes showed up to watch again. Neil hadn’t even noticed since he was too busy throwing Katelyn into the air, but when he finished he heard Matt’s distinctive whooping.

Sure enough, the Foxes were there, with the addition of Wymack and Abby, watching on in amazement.

_Well done!_ Renee signed, to which Neil replied quickly with a _thank you._

Matt was practically bouncing in his seat, obviously wanting to run up to Neil and pull the shorter man into a bear hug, but Dan was doing an amazing job of holding him back.

Andrew, Nicky and Kevin sat off to the side, the latter two cheerings fiercely while Andrew just watched on, eyes burning with something that Neil couldn’t quite read. It made his chest clench with excitement, they'd agreed to do the scar exchange after practice, and Neil was looking forward to it.

He wasn’t sure if he was only looking forward to it because he wanted to spend time with Andrew, though.

Aaron was sat next to the only Fox Neil hadn’t been introduced to – Seth Gordon. He looked extremely unhappy with the arrangement, but Neil could see that he was looking at Katelyn more than anyone else, so he guessed that Aaron wasn’t going to complain all that much.

Neil shook it off and got into position for their new routine, the one they were going to use in their Cheer Comp after Christmas. It involved Neil throwing most of the girls into the air and having Amanda stood on his shoulders, but he was ready.

He’d built up enough muscle since he came to Palmetto, he was no longer a stick-thin rabbit. He managed to pull off each move without breaking a sweat, and even managed to land his backflips, though on one of them he did stick the landing a little.

All in all, it went well and he felt amazing. The loud cheers from the small crowd were more than enough to make Neil almost burst with pride.

“Amazing, Sweetie!” Katelyn cried, pulling him into a tight hug and laughing. “We’re gonna win for sure if we can get it this good two months early!”

“Hell yeah, Neil!” Matt called from the stands. “You’re so strong for such a tiny being. I love you so much!”

Neil felt himself blushing, but he knew his face was already red from the exertion so he knew that nobody had noticed. It felt nice to be told he was loved.

It felt nice to have his mind occupied so he didn’t worry about…

No, this was meant to be a happy time.

“Okay guys, let’s go over our cheer routine for Foxes vs Ravens, and then y’all can go!” Coach Deana shouted.

Neil could see Kevin tensing, but he went to his position anyway. Due to his height, he was near the front, so he’d have to make sure to wear his contacts on the day of the match just to be sure Riko wouldn’t recognise him. There was no way he was going to risk it.

But at the same time, with Nathan gone, there wasn’t an awful lot Riko could do. The cast-off was too afraid to get his hands dirty, too afraid to have something link back to him directly. He also wasn’t particularly smart, and Neil knew that he could easily outsmart him and even bait him into exposing his true colours. While Kengo would probably let what Riko did slip – after all, the guy had done nothing after Riko went ahead and broke Kevin’s hand and was all too willing to lie and say it was a skiing accident – but Ichirou definitely would not.

If Riko came, Neil was going to go back twice as hard. Hopefully, he’d be able to trick Riko into exposing himself so Ichirou would “clean up” the mess.

But he was getting too ahead of himself. While it was good to plan ahead and have a backup, there was no point in stressing himself out thinking about a future that might not even come for a while.

He probably had some time. He hoped he did.

The music began – it was loud and aggressive to match the Edgar Allan battle-song – and Neil could feel the bass thumping, the floor beneath his feet vibrating.

It started with a high kick, and then a turn, before dropping into a split. He could see the Foxes’ shocked reactions to see him in the full split, Nicky and Allison’s mouths were so wide Neil was sure their jaws would dislocate.

The second and third rows did their parts of the routine, and the first row went into a side roll before standing back up and moving to the back. The front row moved around, doing round-offs while Neil and the others in the back row hoisted those in the middle row into the air.

After that, everything moved like clockwork. There were flips, kicks, a pyramid, and by the obligatory “Go Foxes” shout at the very end before the music cut, Neil was exhausted with every muscle in his body quivering with the exertion.

Matt was the first one to break the silence, shouting out before Coach even had a chance to pause the playlist.

“Neil, my boy, my precious son!” Matt called. “You keep surprising me! And don’t worry girls, I loved what you did too, you were all so amazing! A cheer like that is bound to give us the motivation to beat those Ravens into the ground, and maybe we’ll be able to convert some of their fans to our side!”

Amanda giggled, “thank you, Matthew!”

Katelyn grinned as well, slinging her arm around Neil’s shoulder and squeezing tightly. He could see that she was gazing longingly at Aaron, who was staring back with an equally wanton look.

Andrew was glaring at Katelyn like she had tried to kill Aaron or something, which made Neil’s chest clench with sadness. 

He understood that Aaron had broken his promise and that had hurt his twin, but at the same time, Neil wasn’t sure why Andrew hated Katelyn so much when it wasn’t even her fault. 

He shrugged himself out of it. He would probably be able to find out in their scar trade, which he was due to go to later on, up on the roof of Fox Tower.

He was looking forward to it.

~~

Andrew was waiting for him on the roof, already missing his armbands and smoking a cigarette. The air was filled with the familiar and comforting scent of tobacco. The blond looked relatively calm, staring up at where the moon was shining through the clouds, shadows catching on his face and making him look… beautiful. Andrew looked beautiful.

Neil’s heart skipped a beat as the blond turned to face him, exhaling a plume of smoke.

Neil nodded to Andrew, sitting down next to him and waiting patiently for the blond to say something. It wasn't a long wait.

“I’ll tell you about the first seven years of my life,” Andrew began, “I spoke to Bee and she told me to tell you the stuff that will hurt me the least, so you’ll have to wait to know about these.” He ran his fingers over the lines of scars on his forearms, very carefully, like he was scared to split them open again.

Neil nodded, fumbling and the hem of his shirt. He’d decided to start with the scars just under his navel since they were the best looking of his scars, and work his way upwards as he felt more comfortable.

“Neil, yes or no?” Andrew bit out, clenching his hands into tight fists.

“Yes,” Neil told him, watching as Andrew closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Yes or no?”

“It’s a yes.” Andrew grunted, “Just give me a minute.”

Neil sat in silence, rubbing his hands over his scars quietly, letting the feel of them under his shirt ground him until Andrew started to talk.

“I was given away at birth. Aaron’s mum put us both in the system originally, and then decided she’d only take one of us, and so she went back and took Aaron. I was bounced around foster homes in California my entire childhood, and I don’t remember any of them being good. At first, I was always sent back because the people who were fostering me ended up getting pregnant and decided they didn’t want to look after some kid from the foster system as well as their biological kids. Other times, it was because I didn’t get on with the children they already had. There were homes where my older foster siblings beat me up, and of course, it was always my fault. I was never abused by a foster mother though, only brothers and fathers. The others just turned a blind eye to it all until they had no choice but to get rid of me.”

Neil nodded slowly, each breath feeling more difficult than the last.

“It changed when I was seven. One of my foster fathers used to sneak into my room at night and touch me in ways I didn’t like. He used to tell me that if I said please, he would stop. I begged him to stop, but he didn’t, and it just kept getting worse. I would ache for days. When I ended up in homes like that, I got out of there as soon as I knew it wasn’t safe, by any means necessary, and that made it a lot harder for the system to place me in homes.”

Neil could see that Andrew was getting tense, his hands were shaking and his breathing was ragged.

“you don’t have to tell me any more.” Neil said hurriedly. “thank you for trusting me with that.”

Andrew nodded, staring ahead and reaching out for Neil absentmindedly.

“Can I touch you?” Neil asked. Andrew nodded in response.

Neil reached out and carefully wrapped his fingers around Andrew's wrist, feeling the fast thrumming of the blonds pulse. Andrew’s hand relaxed, his fingers stretching out as Neil began to pull his hand towards him, letting Andrew's cold fingers slip under his shirt and rub against the scars.

Andrew’s breath caught and his molten gold eyes snapped up to take in Neil’s face. The taller man kept his face carefully blank, trying to gauge Andrew’s reaction before he said anything else.

“The woman who carved my throat, she did this to me as well.” Neil began, swallowing roughly as Andrew’s expression turned murderous. “She was teaching me how to use knives, teaching me to either fight or die. These are my oldest scars, and they’re the ones you can notice the least when I’m not wearing a shirt.”

“How old were you?” Andrew asked, his voice ragged.

Neil shrugged, “not sure. Probably five or six, that was when they started training me.”

That was probably the worst thing he could have said because Andrew made a sound that could only be described as a growl.

“She’s the one who’s still alive, isn’t she?”

Neil didn’t even need to nod, he knew that Andrew already knew the answer to that question.

“I’ll kill her. If she comes anywhere near you, I’ll kill her. You will train with Renee, you need to become stronger, but I will protect you.”

Neil remained silent, not quite knowing how Andrew was going to react if Neil tried to tell him to back off or tell him he wasn’t going to train with Renee.

Andrew’s hand stayed perfectly still, not going past the boundaries Neil had already set, so Neil reached and moved his hand away from him, and then moved it up to touch his throat. Andrew stared at him for a second before he began to gently stroke over the scars, almost lovingly.

“They feel a lot worse than they look.” Andrew told him, voice gravelly. “they feel like there’s nothing left to hold it together.”

“Yeah, that was kind of the point. Not sure if she intended to kill me or not, but she intended for me to have no voice box.”

Andrew grunted, “can I kiss you?” 

Neil nodded, leaning into Andrew's touch, their lips meeting in a rush of heat. Andrew wrapped his arm around Neil's shoulders and pulled him closer, kissing him more intensely. 

They kissed for a little longer, and when Neil felt himself being pushed down, he decided that he liked being with Andrew Joseph Minyard.


	16. Authors Note

Hello everyone! KT here with a note 

So basically it’s been a year (more than that) since I last updated this fic, because I was going through some shit, and I’m sorry about that.

BUT

The good news is that I haven’t abandoned this fic and I’ll be finishing it off sometime between now and October!

I had it planned out to have 4 more chapters, so watch out for them!

I’m keeping off Tumblr because that was partly the reason that I stopped writing for this fandom - it wasn’t anything to do with other authors in the fandom though, I love you all and your writing! - so you won’t hear much from me aside from updates :)

If you have any questions, feel free to comment, and I’ll try to finally get this fic finished.

Much love,

KT


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the calm before the storm.
> 
> Also pre-warning for next chapter - lots of violence

Neil couldn’t explain it, but as soon as he woke up he knew that it was going to be a bad day.

His scars hurt, sending a dull throbbing through all of his limbs. The scars on his throat were burning, making it hard for him to swallow the water that he kept by his bedside.

He decided straight away that he was going to stay in bed all day, but at the same time, his body was burning, telling him that he had to get up and move around otherwise he’d be a sitting duck.

Lola was still out there, after all, and knowing her she would know exactly where Neil was living and would be coming for him.

Against his better judgement, Neil pulled himself out of bed and headed to the shower, quickly cleaning himself up and getting himself ready for the day.

A day of hiding around Andrew and probably training with Renee. It was the safest bet. Plus, Neil has really started to crave being around Andrew, the make-out session they’d had on the roof that night still bounced around his head, making his heart beat faster and his body feel warm.

If his mother was still alive, she would have slapped the feelings out of him, but thankfully she wasn’t, so Neil had a plan.

He turned up at the door of Andrew’s dorm and knocked quickly, hearing shuffling inside of the dorm before Nicky tore the door open.

“Neil! Hi, we were just talking about you! Andrew wants to take you to Renee to practice sparring tonight, but Kevin and I want to keep you here with us to watch movies. You know, just so we know you’re safe.” Nicky smiled, ushering Neil in.

As the shorter man slid off the old sliders that he’d somehow managed to borrow from Amanda without her criticizing how he was wearing them with socks, Nicky locked the door and headed back over to the sofa.

“Just the knowledge that Lola is still alive is really scary, you know? Like, we want you to be safe, Neil, and until your uncle tells us that she’s dead, there’s just… this kind of edge around everything. I want to make sure that you’re safe, and Kevin will have an aneurism if-“

“Riko might know who you are.” Kevin finished, entering from the bedroom, looking pale. His bright green eyes darted around before he glared at Neil with an intensity that Neil had never expected from the giant coward.

Neil’s chest seized, the breath in his lungs rushing out and leaving him winded. 

“What?!” He croaked, taking a step towards Kevin, who took a step back.

“It seems that your uncle killing your father and his inner circle tipped him off and now he knows for sure that you’re… Stuart would have had no way of knowing anything unless he has been told and you're the only one who could have told him anything, and then he saw how badly we all freaked at the club. Riko is a lot smarter than anyone gives him credit for, so it’s safe to assume he knows everything already. It’s also safe to assume that he somehow has contact with Lola and is feeding her any information he might have.”

“Kevin, please tell me that this is what your shitty sense of humor calls a joke!” Nicky hissed, stepping towards Neil. “Neil will be fine.”

Kevin shook his head, “Jean text me from a burner phone. He seems to be convinced that Riko knows everything and wants to punish you for running. Obviously, it might not have even been Jean, but we have to-“

“Kevin, I swear. Does Andrew know about this?”

“No. He’s on the roof calling Bee, and I don’t want to get throttled within an inch of my life for this. What do I even tell him? That Riko knows who Neil is and is working with Lola to get him killed?!”

“Uhh, yes! That’s exactly what you should say. Get up there and find him, Kevin. I’ll stay here with Neil.” Nicky waved the tall man off. “I’ll call Wymack while I’m at it, this is bad shit.”

Neil hadn’t even realized that he was shaking, but suddenly Nicky’s gentle hand was on his shoulder, guiding him to sit down. Kevin scrambled out of the dorm, the sound of the lock clicking behind him doing little to settle Neil’s nerves.

This was it. It was over. Neil Josten was dead. Nathaniel Wesninski was dead.

It was all for nothing.

“Neil! Holy shit please calm down. Uhhh, nod if you can hear me!”

Neil nodded, trying his best to suck in a breath but failing miserably.

“Okay! Right, so I want you to tell me three things you can see?”

“You, the TV, the window.” Neil croaked, before wincing at the pain in his throat.

“Okay, that’s good! Now, I want you to sign three random words for me!”

_Hello, cat, water._

“You’re doing amazing, sweety. Now, I want you to tell me if I can hug you. It’s fine if you don’t want me to.”

Neil nodded, signing his consent as he did so.

Slowly, Nicky wrapped his arms around Neil’s body, holding him tightly but not so tight that is constricted his breathing further. It was nice. He felt safe. Nicky felt safe, and smelt safe. He smelled like something fruity, and Neil found himself leaning into his embrace.

“You’re doing so well, Neil. Now, I want you to focus on my breathing. You feel it?”

Neil nodded.

“Right, that’s good! Now, when I breathe in, I want you to do it as well, and the same when I breath out. Nice, deep breaths.” Nicky cooed, taking deep and slow breaths, stroking his hand up and down Neil’s back.

Neil copied the taller man's breathing patterns, feeling his heart slow down. His vision sharpened – he hadn’t even been aware that his vision had blurred, and he stopped shaking. He slumped into Nicky even further, wrapping his arms around Nicky and holding the taller man in return.

“Amazing. Are you feeling okay, Neil? I can get you some water, some food or something if you’re up to it?” Nicky asked, slowly pulling away from Neil to study his face. 

Neil just nodded slowly, and Nicky gave him a knowing look before he headed off into the kitchen. He returned quickly with a glass of water, which Neil chugged down a fast as he could without choking.

“It’ll all be fine, Neil, I promise. If you give me your phone, I can call your uncle and pass this on to him? You just relax here, once Andrew gets here everything is gonna it the fan, I can assure you that. He likes you a lot, you know?”

Neil nodded, knowing full well how much Andrew cared about him. Smiling, he handed Nicky his phone and watched as the taller man quickly found Stuart’s number and started the call.

Neil all but jumped out of his skin when Andrew busted through the door, his face red with anger and his chest heaving. Kevin stood right behind him, looking scared out of his mind and sheepishly rubbing at his arm.

Nicky shot his cousin a warning look, continuing to relay all the information to Stuart, along with reassuring the man that Neil was, in fact, fine. For now, at least.

“Yeah, so that’s basically it.” Nicky shrugged, even though Stuart wouldn’t be able to see it. “We can keep him relatively safe, but if she’s as dangerous as Neil says, do you think it’d be better to move?”

Nicky’s face was pale as he listened to the other man ranting over the phone.

“Well, we could probably pull a few strings. His flatmates are down as his points of contact, so they can call him in sick and we can go from there. Yeah, I’ll let you go now. I’ll pass it on, thank you Mr. Hatford, sir.”

Nicky hung up the phone and turned to the other three men, glaring at Kevin as the man hurried to lock the dorm door behind him, and then looking at Neil with a strangely bold look.

“Stuart said that the best bet is to stay here, and he’ll send some of his men to scope out the tower. If we go anywhere too far, there’s no guarantee his men will be there, and it’ll just draw attention to us and prove to Riko that he is definitely right. We stay here and do whatever we can to keep Neil and ourselves safe.” Nicky reported.

Andrew said nothing, just continuing to glare at the other three men, slight tremors going through his shoulders.

“Neil, get Amanda or Katelyn to call you in as sick and we’ll get Abby to make you a doctor's note, and you don’t go to class or practice until this blows over. We can’t guarantee your safety unless you have people with you, and you don’t share any of our classes.”

Neil nodded, taking his phone back and sending a hurried text to Amanda.

**Jos10/10:** _I need a big favour_

**Manman:** _say no more my child what do you need?_

**Jos10/10:** _I need you to call me in sick for the next 14 days. Will explain later._

**Manman:** _not what I expected but sure. U better explain this tho. Ill call up tomorrow morning for u_

**Jos10/10:** _thanks Amanda. Love u_

“Okay, so that’s done. I propose Neil stays with us. That way, Andrew can keep an eye on him, and with the four of us combined, it should be more than enough. We can call in Matt and Renee if needed.” Nicky told them before he sat down next to Neil and smiled as the shorter man leaned against him.

Neil’s eyelids felt heavy, but the itching under his skin and the burning in his scars made him afraid to close them. That coupled with Andrew’s eerie amount of silence considering the situation was making him stressed beyond belief.

“We go with that.” Andrew finally broked the silence, his voice gravelly. “We call Renee and get her to stay here with us for a while. We do everything we can to keep Neil safe, and as soon as I see that bitch or Riko anywhere close to here, they’ll be gutted before they even know I’m coming.” He growled.

“Stuart said no-“

“I don’t care. Nobody hurts what’s mine.” Andrew snapped, sending Neil and Nicky flinching back. “All I care about is that Neil is in danger, and we can protect him so that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Andrew, if we try to do that then we’ll all be in danger. We should lay low.” Nicky argued. “I’m sorry Andrew, but I promised that I’d do my best to keep you and Aaron safe, and you know full well that I’m not going to break it. We lay low.”

Andrew stayed silent for a while before he began to snicker. Kevin paled as Andrew began to full-on laugh.

“Oh Nicky, this is unexpected. I never thought you’d actually stand up to me. But fine. We lay low for now, but only because Aaron and Kevin are also in danger. But if push comes to shove, I’m doing it.” Andrew said before he sat down next to Neil. “Call Aaron and make sure he’s filled in.”

Nicky nodded, before heading to the bedroom with Kevin, leaving Neil with the shorter man.

“Neil, I will protect you. I promise you this.”

“I know.” Neil croaked, his eyes drooping shut. “Can I lean on you?”

Andrew didn’t give a verbal answer, but slowly pulled Neil towards him.

“Rest. I’ll protect you.”

Neil nodded, letting his eyes slowly droop shut.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's this? An Update???
> 
> Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary pals, I do believe there is smut ahead.

Andrew just couldn’t let himself fall asleep.

Part of it was his worrying for Neil. The sheer thought that as soon as he closed his eyes, the entire fucking Yakuza would descend on Fox Tower, find their dorm and take Neil away kicking and screaming.

The rest of it was the sheer number of people in the dorm. All the Foxes, plus Amanda and Katelyn, were currently sprawled out around the living room and kitchen floor. The whole idea of so many people in his space had put him on edge.

He knew that none of them posed a threat to him and that they were here to help Neil out so Andrew couldn’t really complain, but his skin was still itching with the uneasy feeling. Neil seemed to be feeling the same way, his eyes were darting between each person, studying each of them carefully for any sign that they may be a threat.

Andrew couldn’t take the nervous energy anymore and gently motioned for Neil to head into the bedroom with him.

Kevin and Nicky were playing a card game with the upperclassmen, while Aaron was talking with the other two cheerleaders that had shown up against Neil’s wishes, so the bedroom felt much less stifling.

“You’re nervous,” Andrew said bluntly, sitting on the edge of Nicky’s bed and taking great pleasure in messing up the neatly placed pillows.

“Yeah, it’s kinda hard not to be, you know, when I’ll probably die in the next month,” Neil said bitterly, sitting down on the floor and tugging at his hair. “I should just run. Leave in the middle of the night, and stop you all from being involved.”

Andrew scoffed. Josten was a damned idiot who couldn’t see how much people cared for him and was letting his rabbit heart rule over his entire being.

“I’ll protect you.”

Neil just sighed and shook his head.

“You keep saying that, and I want to believe you, but I just can’t. I trust that you’re good with knives and fights, but Lola is just on a whole other level. Uncle Stuart should be able to deal with it, and then everything will be fine. I just don’t want you to be hurt, Andrew. If they do come, and they killed you, then you’d have so many people who would miss you. Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, Renee, so many people. I don’t have that. It’d be better for me to just-“

Andrew moved so he was in front of Neil, and looked him dead in the eye.

“Josten. When will you get it into your thick skull that we care about you? Not just me. All of the Foxes love you. All of the Vixens love you. Your uncle loves you and obviously wants you to be safe and happy, just like we do. We care, Neil, and we will do whatever we can to make sure you’re safe.” Andrew told him. 

Neil didn’t say anything but just nodded dumbly.

“You shouldn’t get attached to me.” Neil finally croaked. “It’s self-destructive.”

Andrew let out a genuine laugh at that. It was quiet, but it was there.

“Neil, self-destructive behaviours are my speciality. But I’m not attached. I just find you attractive.” Andrew cringed at his own words, but it was the only thing he could think of to say at that moment, because it was true.

He genuinely found Neil attractive, as much as the taller man's abysmal fashion choices irked him. Not that he wanted an actual relationship. That kind of thing wasn’t even on his radar.

But he was getting way ahead of himself. He should be focusing on making Neil feel comfortable, not having an internal gay panic about a fashion impaired, rabbit hearted cheerleader.

“You’re pretty attractive, too. Not that I have much to compare it to, but yeah. I enjoyed… everything.” Neil sighed. “I wish we could do more, but it kind of feels like a terrible time for it.”

“That it is.” Andrew agreed. “But good decisions aren’t my strong point. If you want, we can just kiss for a while. But don’t feel as if-“

“I want to,” Neil interjected. “Just kissing.”

“I need you to say Yes.”

“Yes.”

\-----

To say that Andrew was surprised by the forwardness of Neil was an understatement. But here he was, tucked between Neil and the wall in his bunk bed, holding the taller man tightly as they kissed.

One of his hands stroked the back of Neil’s head, while the other brushed along his waist. Neil didn’t seem to know where to put his hands, but he placed one on Andrew’s shoulder after asking permission to do so, and just kept the other still. Andrew was glad, if he was honest, anywhere else would have tickled, and Andrew despised tickling.

Banishing the thoughts from his mind, he allowed himself to get lost in Neil. The other man was inexperienced and it showed, but the desperation was oddly cute. It was like he was literally trying to eat Andrew, and the thought was both hilarious and pathetic in one. More hilarious, though, if the blond was honest with himself.

Neil pulled away, his eyes blown wide, his irises almost completely swallowed by his pupils.

Andrew could see a slightly pained expression covering the other man’s face, and the realization was like a bucket of iced water had been poured over him.

Removing his hands from Neil’s body, Andrew pulled back.

Neil croaked out something in reply, but his voice was so wrecked Andrew could barely tell what he was trying to say.

“Does your throat hurt?” Andrew asked, “don’t say anything, you’ll make it worse.”

Neil snapped his mouth shut and nodded slowly.

Sighing raggedly, Andrew scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Damnit. I need to learn sign language faster so you don’t have to strain yourself. Wait there, I’ll get you some water. Do throat lozenges help you?”

Neil nodded quickly, watching with wide eyes as Andrew climbed over him and dropped from the bunk, heading toward the door with a strange amount of determination.

Andrew honestly didn’t know why he was so determined, it wasn’t like he was desperate to get laid or anything. And it also wasn’t like he loved Neil.

The blond knew he was lying to himself, but he could at least deny it for a while longer.

Everyone was quiet as he entered the main area of the dorm, watching him as he headed to get a glass of water and a pack of throat lozenges from the kitchen area.

“Yo, Andrew, not gonna lie but that combination of items is suspect as fuck.” Nicky joked.

“Shut the fuck up before I gut you.” Andrew snapped before his gaze snapped to Amanda and Katelyn. “Is there anything else he needs to stop it feeling like he’s swallowing knives? He can’t talk and I don’t know enough-“

“There’s not an awful lot more to do.” Amanda bit out with a frown. “Apart from telling him not to talk, but he’s a stubborn piece of work when he wants to be.”

Matt let out a bitter chuckle, “yeah, that’s Neil to a T.”

“I’ll just make him sleep for a while.” Andrew shrugged, before heading back into the bedroom, where Neil had huddled himself under the blankets of Andrew’s bed.

As Andrew got closer, Neil sat up and watched as the blond crawled into the bed and offered him the water and throat lozenges, which Neil took quickly.

They sat in companionable silence as Neil gulped down the entire glass and took one of the lozenges before Neil moved again.

He made to get off the bed, and Andrew’s eyes widened as he saw the tent in the front of Neil’s shorts. Neil noticed, and his eyes quickly darted towards the door, then back to Andrew.

“You can go if you want to, I won’t be offended,” Andrew said softly. “Or, if you’d rather not have to stealth it past everyone, you can stay in here and I’ll leave. Or I can help you, whichever option you prefer.”

Neil bit his lip, and Andrew was sure he could hear the gears of the brunettes head turning as he tried to think of an answer.

The blond had just resigned himself to leave the room when Neil perked up and took up his phone, quickly typing out a response before he nervously handed it to Andrew and hid his face in his hands.

_Could you use your hands while we make out?_

Andrew didn’t even realize he was holding his breath, but he let it out quickly and answered with a _Yes._

Neil flushed and moved back over to Andrew, taking back his phone and placing it on the little shelf Andrew had next to his bed.

“If you want to stop at any time, just tap me twice on the shoulder. Don’t worry about upsetting me by asking to stop. Don’t touch below my shoulders though.” Andrew told Neil while lacing his fingers with the taller man’s. “Is there anywhere that you don’t want to be touched? Just tap it,” 

Neil tapped the scar on his neck, which was what Andrew had expected to happen, but he still nodded slowly.

“Okay, I won’t touch you there. Do you mind me kissing your chest or do you just want-“

Neil nodded quickly, still blushing furiously. Andrew felt a scoff in his chest, one in amusement at Neil’s obvious excitement, but he kept it down in return for asking another question.

“Do you want to sit in my lap, or would you rather be laid down? It doesn’t make much of a difference, but if you’re not a fan of being closed in probably the former option.” Andrew said, “I know I said no touching under the shoulders, but this is the one exception to the rule.”

Neil gestured to Andrew’s lap after some thought, and Andrew realized – much to his own chagrin – that he was also hard.

Pulling on Neil’s hand, the blond carefully arranged Neil so he was sat in his lap, clothes pushed out of the way so they wouldn’t get dirty but Neil would also be covered if someone was stupid enough to enter the room.

Neil leaned in, obviously shy, but he loosened up once Andrew melded their lips together in a searing kiss, one that actually sent a shiver down the blond’s spine.

In the long run, this was probably an absolutely awful decision that Andrew would end up talking to Bee about in some fashion, but damn him, he was loving it.

Neil was oddly soft, which Andrew found himself loving as he pressed his hand onto Neil’s chest and slowly trailed it down until it was resting just under Neil’s belly button. The brunette froze for a moment before he nodded with a soft sigh.

Heat was pulsing throughout Andrew’s body in a way he’d neither anticipated nor felt before as he lifted his hand and spat in it.

Neil let out a quiet moan, a shudder running through his body as Andrew’s hand made contact, and the blond drank it in, moving his hand slowly and making sure that Neil was entirely slick before he sped up his hand.

Neil’s comfort was paramount, and as much as he wanted to deny that his past had anything to do with it, Andrew was desperate to make sure that Neil thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Neil pressed harder into the kiss, letting out the sweetest moans as Andrew began to jerk him off in earnest. The brunette’s hips bucked, and to Andrew’s surprise, Neil deepened the kiss.

The heat in Andrew’s belly continued to pulse, and he was sure Neil could feel it too because the brunette began to shudder and moan a little more, his grip on Andrew’s shoulder tightening as he rasped out a warning that he was close.

Andrew steadied Neil with a hand on his thigh as the younger man almost collapsed with the force of his release, desperately trying to muffle the sounds he was making with Andrew’s mouth.

Andrew wasn’t far behind, tumbling over the edge with a quiet sigh into Neil’s mouth. They stayed together, enjoying the blissful afterglow, Andrew gently drawing patterns on Neil’s thigh.

Neil stayed out of it for a few minutes, but the relaxed nature of his body language was enough to tell Andrew that he was doing okay, probably just utterly floored by the feeling. Andrew was content to hold him through it, finding it an oddly relaxing feeling.

This was… new. Andrew would normally be long gone after something like this. It was the arrangement he’d had with Roland after all, but Neil was different. 

Andrew itched to go and clean up, stealing some of Nicky’s expensive face wipes that cleaned up and left his hands feeling silky smooth, but he was scared to move just in case Neil would start dropping if he did.

Luckily, Neil lifted his head, wrinkling his nose and sitting back.

Silently, Andrew made the motions to clean up, as Neil looked around sheepishly like he wasn’t sure what he should do now.

“Just sleep. You’ve been through some shit, I won’t be offended if you just know out right there.” Andrew told him. “You’re clean, I’m not gonna touch you. I’ll sleep outside with the others.”

Neil nodded, watching as Andrew retreated across the room to the door, before snuggling down under the duvet.

Andrew left the room, feeling oddly relaxed.

As he curled up in the armchair that had been left empty for him, he found himself getting engrossed in the shitty movie the others were playing.

It never occurred to him that he hadn’t locked the window.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took so long, I kept changing how I wanted to go about it.
> 
> Plus Covid happened lmaooo wear a mask.

Neil’s entire nervous system felt like it was burning as he glared at the door. It wasn’t the usual heated pins and needles feeling that he usually got when he felt the need to run away, it was as if his nerves were being doused in molten lava.

He wasn’t sure what to feel. He’d enjoyed Andrew getting him off, it was incredible, the best thing he’d ever felt in his life actually.

But the fact it felt so good was what was scaring him so much. He could feel himself getting attached to the blond, and that was a certified bad idea.

He needed to run.

But running was an even worse idea, with Lola out there running would practically be suicide. She was probably lurking in his dorm, just waiting for him to go back in. Or for Amanda and Katelyn.

Neil would rather die than let anything happen to his friends, the two girls were perhaps the most important thing in his life, and he would die to protect them. Andrew be damned, Neil wouldn’t sit by and let them get hurt. The best bet was to try and lure Lola away.

There was no way he could do that without sacrificing himself.

Neil groaned softly, rolling onto his back, glancing briefly at the window. He saw that Andrew hadn’t locked it while they were cleaning up, but he hadn’t mentioned it. Though the window was a possible way for Lola to get to him, it was also his best way to escape. After all, there were way too many people in the dorm, there was no way he’d be able to get out that way.

Neil found himself staring at the window, contemplating his choices.

1\. Run away and hope Lola was close enough to realise and follow him, meaning everyone else would be safe.  
2\. Stay and risk others getting hurt, praying that Stuart would find Lola before the bitch found Neil.  
3\. Some crazy, nonsensical idea that he would make up as time went on.

As he pondered, he felt his phone vibrating against his hand, where he clutched it hoping for the call from Stuart that would stop all this stressing.

Tiredly, Neil gazed at the screen, and immediately felt his blood freezing in his veins.

**Unknown:** _Found you junior_

Neil could feel the panic attack coming, but somehow he was also feeling dead calm. The fire in his veins turned to ice and his limbs felt itchy but heavy at the same time.

**Unknown:** _come outside or im coming up. Your friends are dead if I have to come up._

Neil felt sick. Slowly, he crawled out of Andrew’s bed, and edged his way over to the window, looking out while making sure he was as hidden as possible. He saw a lone black sedan in the parking lot behind the building, and the woman stood next to it was staring right up at the window.

There was no mistaking it, that was Lola.

Neil was trapped. No matter what he did, he was done for. He turned away from the window, biting his lip and thinking.

He knew that Lola wasn’t lying, she absolutely would kill all of the others to get to him. Neil knew he wouldn’t be able to cope with the guilt if that happened, even if he was pretty much guaranteed to be dead by the end of the night.

His phone vibrated again, and suddenly Neil had a bright idea. He whipped out the phone and pulled up Stuart’s contact details.

_Lola is right outside Fox Tower. She’s going to kill everyone unless I go with her. Im going. My guess is she’ll take me to the old safe house on the border, you know the one._

He sent the text with no hesitation and quickly shoved the phone into his boxers after silencing it. Hopefully, the tracker in the phone would help Stuart find him.

Taking a deep breath, Neil opened the window and quickly scaled down the building, landing almost silently and cringing as the window slammed shut.

There was no way Andrew hadn’t heard that.

Lola’s arms were around his neck in seconds, dragging him over towards the car.

“I missed you, Junior. This whole cat and mouse game was tiring, but now we can have fun together, just like old times.” She hissed in a sickly sweet voice. “You have no idea how much I had to bribe to get your info. Luckily I managed to get a million from your father before the feds came in.”

Neil wheezed, his eyes going wide as he saw the crowbar laid on the roof of the car. Phantom memories of heavy metal slamming into his limbs crashed through his mind.

_This was a mistake. I should have stayed with Andrew, he would have protected me. I die here. After doing shit like that with Andrew, I really am the worst. I don’t deserve him._

“NEIL!” It was Andrew’s voice. The blond stood, hanging halfway out of the window, an expression of pure grief on his face as he stared down at them. “LET HIM GO YOU BITCH!”

Behind Andrew, the whole dorm seemed to be in turmoil. The girls were hanging behind Andrew, calling people in a panic, while Neil could see Matt, Seth, and Renee racing down the stairwell through the end window.

Neil tried to scream, but his throat was raw, he could barely get any noise out before he felt Lola’s hands leave him.

Andrew was out of the window, in the process of climbing down when Neil heard the scrape of metal.

Andrew had just reached the ground when Neil felt the cold metal slamming into his head, the world going dark as he slumped against Lola.

\------ 

Andrew’s whole body ran cold as the sickening thunk of the metal against Neil’s head sounded throughout the lot, followed closely by the slamming of a car door and the screaming sound of the tires. It was a numbing feeling as he felt his heart hammering like a damn rabbit as he watched the very guy he’d left barely an hour before get taken away.

He kept running, even though there was no hope of catching the car, even though his lungs were burning in protest. Even though he’d been an idiot and left his car keys upstairs. He began to slow down, feeling the world around him start swimming and move in slow motion as the sedan disappeared into the night. Andrew’s skin felt too tight, his skull felt like it was going to burst open, yet at the same time, he felt like this was just a horrible nightmare. It felt too surreal but at the same time too real.

He felt himself shutting down, cursing himself for failing to protect Neil.

Amanda passed him easily, running for her car, with Matt and Renee close behind her. Andrew couldn’t even focus as they piled into the car and took off after Neil.

“What the fuck? Was the window not locked?” Kevin demanded, coming to stand next to Andrew, though his voice sounded odd like he was underwater. Or maybe Andrew was the one underwater, that would explain the strange floating feeling in his head. “Why did you not lock it?”

“I forgot.” Andrew bit out, his voice just barely audible. “Tell me right now that you have Stuart’s number, Kevin.”

He needed Bee, he absolutely needed Bee.

“I-I don’t.” Kevin stuttered. ”But Amanda went after them, and the police-“

“Won’t do jack shit, Kevin. You of all people should know that!” Aaron snapped. “We all know that we’re in deep and that Stuart is the only way we’re getting Neil back alive! Amanda, Matt, and Renee might be absolute forces of nature, but there’s no way they can take on a damn organized crime ring.”

“I have Stuart's number!” Katelyn announced, making Andrew’s world immediately snap into focus. “I, uh, went on Neil’s phone when he wasn’t looking and got it. I already called him, apparently Neil texted him just before to…” Katelyn trailed off.

Andrew flooded with relief at hearing Katelyn’s sentence, but he couldn’t help but clasp onto what she’d said.

“Neil messaged Stuart?! He knew he was… and he didn’t come in and tell us?” Andrew spat, grasping the handle of his knife tightly, trying not to show his emotions even though he knew the façade was cracking.

This wasn’t happening, this was _not_ happening. This was a dream. Andrew was still asleep in his dorm, Neil was right next to him and everything was fine. 

Katelyn shrugged. “I guess he thought we’d die if he did that. We can’t change that, all we can do is hope Stuart saves him.”

Andrew shook his head. “Right. Thank you, Katelyn.”

Both Aaron and Katelyn looked stunned, before they both recovered quickly, nodding.

“Stuart reckons he knows where they’re going. He said to hang back, but we could maybe start heading-“

“Name the place,” Andrew told her. “Katelyn, where?”

“Somewhere called Ellison Manufacturing, right on the state border directly north of Spartanburg,” Katelyn told him. “I can call Manda and tell her to head that way?”

Andrew was silent for a few seconds, which prompted Kevin to speak up.

“It’ll be dangerous. I doubt Lola is the only one involved, there could be a full-on firefight. But Neil means a lot to us all, so if we’re going to do this, we need to go now. Tell Amanda to wait for us at the Taco Bell we always end up at after matches.” Kevin said, oddly assertive. The taller man was wringing his hands, obviously not quite believing what he was saying, but there was no doubt that he knew the most about what was going on. Andrew trusted his judgment, especially because the blond didn’t even trust that his brain wasn’t lying to him at this point.

“I will,” Katelyn said, hurriedly ringing her friend.

“I’ll get Matt’s truck, and Allison’s getting all our keys and locking up. If we split between the cars, we can all go. Something tells me Neil’s gonna want to see us once he gets rescued.” Dan chimed in. 

Andrew bit his lip, looking at the spot on the tarmac where he was sure some of Neil’s blood was.

“I’m going to come right out and say Nicky should drive.” Aaron sighed. “Andrew, you can’t drive in this state, don’t eve-“

“Honey, he’s not arguing.” Katelyn pointed out. “Andrew, Manda said they lost the car but it was heading in the general direction of Spartanburg. They’ll wait for us all.” She said softly.

Andrew let out a bitter laugh. After how rude he’d been to Katelyn, after everything he’d put her through, she was still talking to him in a caring voice. This had to be a dream.

“Okay. Kevin, Aaron, and Katelyn come with us.” Nicky announced, heading Andrew towards the car. “Andrew, you call Bee, okay? You’re-“

“I’ll text her. Someone call Wymack and Abby. Let’s go.”

\------ 

Neil came to in a dark, open room that somewhat resembled a slaughterhouse, but also looked like an old abandoned manufacturing factory. It was exactly where Neil assumed she was going to bring him, and hopefully, Stuart wasn’t too far away.

After taking in his surroundings, Neil realized that everything was too quiet. His head felt absolutely destroyed, and his hair was warm with blood, and he couldn’t hear anything.

Lola was stood in front of him, and her eyes brightened with a sickening look as she began to say something. It was muffled, Neil was sure that he could actually hear her a little bit, but it was nigh on impossible to make it out. It was almost like he was trying to hear her through a thick wall. 

He stared up at her, and then she became angry. She started screaming, her face red with the effort, but Neil still didn’t know what was going on. 

Lola seemed to realize that he couldn’t hear her and stepped back to grab something, small and metal.

She flicked it and a flame burst out, a tiny bit of light against the darkness of the room, illuminating Lola's sick face.

Neil flinched, feeling the thick rope and chains around his entire body, way too tight and meaning that he couldn’t move at all. The only thing he could do was to try and tilt his head away, but any attempt to do that forced a white-hot bolt of pain through his neck. 

The burns were slow at first, almost like there was a method behind it. It was like Lola was trying to make a pattern of burns, up his arms and between the chains and ropes. Neil thought he screamed, but he wasn’t sure. Everything was swimming, and Neil wasn’t sure if he was even feeling anything anymore.

He sat there, letting it happen, and thinking about how stupid he had been.

Maybe, if he’d gone to Andrew, everything would be fine and Neil could have continued on with his life. But now there was no way. The Moriyama’s would probably kill him if Lola didn’t. But Lola would probably end him after she had her fun mutilating his skin.

Time passed slowly, or quickly, Neil wasn’t sure. The pain had made him numb, and now she was cutting him. Neil watched the blood seeping out and wondered how much more there would need to be before he passed out.

Probably a lot. Lola was purposely not cutting him too deep so he wouldn’t bleed out and prolonging the whole ordeal. 

Suddenly, there was a bright flash, and Neil’s eyes snapped open to see a handful of heavily armed men filling the warehouse, guns drawn and aimed at Lola. There was shouting, Neil couldn’t hear it but he could feel the voices reverberating through the empty room.

Lola gripped the knife tightly and ducked to the side, and the guns began to flash.

Stuart crouched in front of him, his eyes tired but full of worry as he began to say something, undoing the chains and cutting the rope away while trying his best not to upset the wounds.

Neil tried his best to communicate, his throat burning, “can’t… hear you.”

Stuart’s eyes became overrun with sadness, looking around quickly.

Neil followed his gaze, finding a bullet-riddled Lola slumped over an old conveyer belt. His breath caught in his throat. She was gone. She was finally gone.

Stuart sent a quick text, and Neil noticed that the name of the contact was Katelyn.

His consciousness began to fade, but he felt himself smiling as he went under. 

¬

“They’ve got him!” Katelyn announced, tears streaming down her cheeks as she collapsed against Aaron in relief. "He's alive, and they reckon he's going to survive."

They were at a huge mansion that belonged to Stuart after the man had told them to wait there while he and his men went to go find Neil. Andrew had wanted to go with them, but in the end, he’d decided to stay with the others. He hated to admit it, but all of them were supporting each other and Andrew really appreciated it. Sure, he'd text Bee and she'd helped him work through his trainwreck of emotions, but really, it was the team that had helped him to most. 

To his surprise, Katelyn had been the one who had comforted him the best, and somehow Andrew and Aaron had become the best of friends in this whole thing, both brothers extremely concerned about Neil despite neither actually saying it out loud.

Andrew was really beginning to feel bad for the way he'd treated Katelyn. She was really holding it together while everyone else was losing their minds.

Wymack and Abby were on their way, and according to Renee, Bee was coming as well.

Andrew was glad, he felt like he was going to collapse. Whether it was from relief or stress, he couldn’t quite say. Hopefully having more adult adults around would make things easier, and Andrew knew that Wymack could pull enough strings to get the whole team some time off for this, and probably for Amanda and Katelyn too. Plus, Bee being around was always a plus.

But one thing that he couldn’t get his head around was how on earth this whole situation had happened. He’d need to have a serious talk with Neil. This kind of martyr behavior had almost got him killed once and Andrew was not going to let this happen again as long as he was alive.

Katelyn spoke again, her voice a lot more quiet than normal.

“He says that they’re bringing him back here for medical treatment, but they might have to send him to an actual hospital.” Katelyn deflated, her eyes going dark. “He’ll explain when they get back, but he isn’t in good shape.”

Matt choked back a sob, and Amanda turned away to look out the window.

“Andrew, I’m-“

“Don’t apologize, Katelyn. It isn’t your fault.” Andrew breathed. “We should rest until they get back, I have a feeling shit is going to hit the fan.”


End file.
